tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20066975770125339582024-02-20T01:51:54.705-05:00The Paisley ButterflyGliding through life on the wings of Faith.The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-84086650640651075312015-11-21T15:57:00.000-05:002015-11-21T15:57:12.269-05:00Why I Haven't Posted in Almost a Year...<div style="font-size: 16px;">
<b><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Philippians 4:10-13</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">11</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">12</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">13</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> I can do everything through him who gives me strength. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have not forgotten about this site, nor have I forgotten the few that are led here. However, due to the nature of my health, I am not in any position to post anything for a year, or longer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been dealing with multiple medical issues for over a decade now, though the past two years have become increasingly debilitating for me, to the point of being a burden of sorts for my husband and child, forcing me to begin sharing with our families all I have been dealing with secretly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My medical situation is so specialized and complex, that the treatment plan to get my body to a full functioning place is quite lengthy. There is no definite in when I will be completely healed and beyond this leg in the journey of my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I trust God and His timing, understanding that I am finally with the specialists I need to get me back to proper health. I appreciate those who have been patient with this website.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Once He calls upon me to share details on what I have been dealing with, I will share as He sees fit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">No matter the situation, I praise God, thanking Him for every day; for whether things are good or bad, with God, there is peace and joy, r</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">emembering to focus on Jesus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">With love and appreciation, Paisley</span></div>
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The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-84257291829716166852014-12-29T08:09:00.000-05:002015-01-05T11:31:58.958-05:00Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit<b style="color: #9fc5e8;">John 14:15-31</b><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">15</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> "If you love me, obey my commandments. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">16</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">17</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn't looking for him and doesn't recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">17</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> No, I will not abandon you as orphans -- I will come to you. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">19</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">20</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-size: xx-small;">21</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them."</span><br />
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By obeying God the Father, through the relationship with God the Son, we begin doing the works of Jesus through God the Holy Spirit, that of which lives in us. The way Jesus is always with us is through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit acts as our Advocate, our Counselor. This is the way we receive God's Wisdom and Truth. The Holy Spirit acts as a compass of emotions, thoughts and actions. Through the Holy Spirit, received by the acceptance of Jesus Christ, our sins are revealed to us. This allows us to come before Jesus and ask for forgiveness of our sins by confessing. This cleans us before God the Father. When we enter into a relationship with Jesus, we come to know God -- the closer we are to Jesus, the closer we are to God. Through this closeness, obedience begins to take place, an act of love, but one must obey God's commands in order to be close to Him.<br />
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God has been working hard on revealing the Holy Spirit to me in new intimate and wonderful and truly AWESOME ways. The last few months, He has led me to the truth that the Holy Spirit prays the unutterable prayers in our hearts -- AS AN ADVOCATE FOR US. I have experienced this, having been made aware in an amazing 'AHA!' moment. I was in a very painful relationship for years, one that I felt stuck in.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I. Wanted. Out.</b> </span><br />
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But...God wasn't ready for me to be free of that relationship, or that person. For whatever reason, He needed me there and I trusted that God knew what He was doing. So, I obeyed and endured. Of course, to me it was a very long time.<br />
<u>My mantra became:</u> <i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God!</span></i><br />
If I focused on God, there would be no time for me to focus on my pain, my distaste, my unhappiness with the situation. I prayed, fervently, for the Lord to bless my time with this person, that He would bless the words coming from my mouth, keep my mind off of what I did not enjoy, and center my time with this person around joy.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God!</span> </i><br />
I desperately needed peace of mind and heart with every interaction I had with this person.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God! </span></i><br />
I came to dread the moments I would have to 'entertain' this person.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God!</span> </i><br />
I began feeling fake-ish.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God! </span></i><br />
I knew I was obeying God, but I wasn't sure how to be 100% true to my God-given self.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God! </span></i><br />
I continued focusing on God and His plan, to keep me from getting stuck on the circle of confusing questions, trying to understand things that were non of my business to understand. This was hard.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Focus on God! </span></i><br />
This was painful.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Focus on God!</i> </span><br />
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There was this one week where multiple events took place, involving said person of this painful relationship, that truly offended me -- I felt <i>betrayed</i>. Betrayed in a way I had never felt before. I remember not being angry or hurt at what the person did -- honestly, I wasn't surprised at this point in the relationship, based on past experienced, that this person performed these acts of betrayal -- but I was incredibly hurt that God wanted me to be in a relationship that caused me such excruciating pain. On the one hand, I was pretty impressed that I wasn't focusing on the person that hurt me, or letting myself get angry at what the person did. On the other, I couldn't understand how God could put me in such a position to cause not only me such pain, but my family, too. This is where I came to understand the pain I was experiencing was a spiritual pain. I had faithfully been obedient to God in this relationship, never taking a step away until <i>He</i> gave me permission. Why would He want me in a relationship that reaped this much pain? Here I was, in a place where the idea of looking this person in the face made me physically sick. This person was a liar, this person was manipulative, this person was greedy. I felt this human relationship was at a tipping point of conflicting with my relationship with God...or so I thought.<br />
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I prayed in sobs, gut wrenching sobs, for days. I needed God to do something. I did not know what. I'll be honest and say, I really feared He would expect me to continue to endure. I didn't know what that would be, knowing I didn't want to, but knowing God would figure it out. I cried out my pain to Him. I asked many questions, never expecting an answer (<i>something I've learned over the years: be honest about what you feel in your heart and speak them out to God. You may find that once you share your fears with yourself, confessing them to God, you are freed from the fear</i>).<br />
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A couple of days after learning of said betrayal, God convicted me to walk away from the relationship. That's it. It was such a sudden and strong <u style="font-weight: bold;">COMMAND</u>. I<i> immediately </i>felt relief! In that moment, I let go. I felt special, loved, joyful and lifted! In my heart, I walked away from that person, that relationship. I didn't worry about the repercussions of walking away from that person and the hold they had on me. I didn't concern myself with explaining myself to that person. I didn't get caught up in how this might affect the person I was finally free from -- that's for God to deal with. I remember laughing when He revealed to me that He answered my unutterable prayer-- the one the Holy Spirit prayed for me. The prayer that even I had no clue I needed prayed. When I cried out to God, I didn't know what His answer would be, because I didn't have a question. I just asked for His will to be done, while pouring my raw emotions out to Him.<br />
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To this day, I have no idea why I had to endure such a stressful, painful and exhausting relationship. And, you know what? I don't need to know. God knows and that is good enough for me!<br />
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Thank you, Lord Jesus, for loving us so that we might have life. Thank you for the Holy Spirit, speaking the words we know not to the loving Father. And thank you Father, for giving your only Son, so that we may have a relationship with You, through the Holy Spirit. AMENThe Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-21447863967727880122014-12-02T12:29:00.002-05:002014-12-04T13:30:18.755-05:00Still Here...Still Working...<u><b><span style="color: #9fc5e8;">To start:</span></b></u> I will be posting <span style="color: #93c47d; font-family: 'Crimson Text'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: center;"><u>Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit</u></span><span style="color: #a39cb4; font-family: 'Crimson Text'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: center;"> </span>by the end of this year.<br />
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When it comes to my spiritual posts, I strive to allow the time necessary for God to reveal to me, through the Holy Spirit, what He needs me to write. Part of this process involves the revealing of the truth within my own heart. I take my spiritual journey seriously--my relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life. Everything flows out from that core interaction between me and God.<br />
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This is also why I haven't been posting as frequently as I did the year of 2013. I have been on an incredibly, albeit all-consuming and overwhelming at times, spiritual journey. The things the Lord has revealed to me over the past few months have kept me in perpetual awe of His Lordship. Focusing on God, remembering to praise His Holiness has been wonderful! I have also come to accept, and respect, that I am meant to live the experiences that lend to the spiritual posts of this blog. <a href="http://www.thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/03/living-in-present.html" target="_blank">Living in the Present</a>, focusing on the Lord and studying the Bible. I need to come through to the other side, able to look back at the journey, in order to share the message and lessons as I come to understand them more fully.<br />
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Simply put, <i><span style="color: #93c47d;">life</span></i> <u>must be</u> <i><span style="color: #93c47d;">lived</span></i>.<br />
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There was a time when I put such pressure on myself to post regularly. To the point that, as things were happening, I was reliving the moments through the lens of <i>how would I write this to convey...</i>, instead of allowing God to speak through these moments to my heart. I took the blog out of God's hands and put them in my own. I gave myself permission to beat God to it. How is that right? I asked myself,<i> "How am I going to gain all God has for me, if I am too focused on what I'm going to write?"</i><br />
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So, now I wait for God to call on me, compel me to come to this computer and put the words out He chooses. <a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/07/discerning-call-for-action.html" target="_blank">I wait for Him to tell me when to act</a>. At least, that is my hope and prayer. I want to do right by Him. And I sincerely hope that in the year of 2015, God will call me to share some of these revelations of 2014 with you :)<br />
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<u><b><span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Next:</span></b></u> I am working on Part <span style="color: #f4cccc;">TSHW, Part 2</span>.<br />
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It's just not coming as easily as <a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/p/the-secrets-held-within.html" target="_blank">Part 1</a>. While I have basic backgrounds for each of the characters, I still have yet to determine the relationship Ava had with her father and mother, prior to the revelation found at the end of Chapter 26. I have a lot to still learn about Ava, requiring further development of her back story.<br />
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<u><b><span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Last, but not least:</span></b></u> I am going to be making a pillow cover to match the <a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2014/01/batman-quilt-success.html" target="_blank">Batman quilt</a> I made for Kit last Christmas! :) This is to be a Christmas gift -- I have yet to start. However, it will be smaller than the quilt, and easier to layout. I will do a post of start to middle, then a post on the final product.<br />
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~May Christ be with you in all you do!The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-36306312076410314542014-10-23T11:44:00.000-04:002014-10-23T11:46:01.686-04:00Jesus is the Way to the FATHER<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>John 14:1-14</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 1</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">2</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">3</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">4</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> And you know the way to where I am going."</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 5 </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"No, we don't know, Lord," Thomas said. "We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?"</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 6</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. 7 If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!"</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 8</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied."</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 9</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Jesus replied, "Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and yet you still don't know who I am? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father! So why are you asking me to show him to you? </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">10</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Don't you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I speak are not my own, but my Father who lives in me does his work through me. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">11</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of the work you have seen me do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;"> 12</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">13</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: xx-small;">14</span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">There is but ONE God: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. He is neither one, nor the other, but ALL at <i>once</i>. </span></b><br />
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God is spirit. God sent Himself down to earth in the form of man as God the Son, Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah. God <i>is</i> our Savior. God sacrificed Himself for us. God in Heaven, God the Father --of which we all have access by knowing and accepting Jesus Christ as our Messiah -- gives us God the Holy Spirit, our Advocate, through our relationship with Jesus Christ.<br />
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God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit created the universe, and all in it. It is part of His perfect plan, carried out through His three Personalities, though He is but One God. We need Jesus in order to gain access to God, and therefore need Jesus in order to receive the Holy Spirit. This is why: Jesus performed the ultimate in sacrifices for our eternal souls. God cannot be in the presence of sin, because He is HOLY. By the spilling of Jesus' blood, he atoned for all sins of all mankind, creating a clean slate for us before God. We, therefore, cannot be clean without Jesus. He is our Mediator. He speaks on our behalf to the Father. Jesus, God the Son, is the only way we can be forgiven by God the Father, who reveals Himself through God the Holy Spirit -- the Leader into all truth, God's truth. <br />
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Check back for conclusion: Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit.</div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-62338173199023972132014-04-26T13:58:00.001-04:002014-04-26T13:58:51.771-04:00The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 26<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Chapter 26, Coming Together</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">My memory is hazy following the reveal
of my father: Chester Abbott: Ava’s father. We are half-sisters…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Everyone parted ways almost immediately
after the reveal of this information, with Ava upset, though rightfully. Everything
she thought she knew, changed in an instant. I am sure she has many questions.
Todd took her home, having offered to return to be with me however I needed,
but I politely declined. I need to sort through the plethora of information
gathered over the past week, and the shock of the truth. It amazes me how
Carter’s possible suicide note was put so far back in the closet with the onset
of finding my birth certificate. Stella insisted on staying at a motel on the
outskirts of town for the night to give me privacy. She is ever so thoughtful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I am sitting under the pergola, cocooned
within the fragrant garden. The sun is up. The bench is hard wood. I lean my
hands on the edge of the seat, leaning forward. The only thing I seem to be
able to focus on is my breath. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In. Out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I need oxygen. So many facts swim within
my mind. I have lost all hope of lassoing a single one of them to inspect upon
further. The effort is immense. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In. Out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Pulling my knees under my chin, feet
upon seat, I rock to my right. Laying down in the fetal position, I close my
eyes and take another deep breath. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Out…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">Suddenly, there is the image of Jesus
shining gloriously. Arms open, patiently waiting; for me? His light emanates
from him, snuffing out all darkness. </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">Come
to me, for I wait</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">. A whisper to my soul; not heard, but felt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I run to him. I run toward the loving
arms of Christ. Boy, do I need the strength of those arms right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When I reach him, he vanishes…Sort of. I
am basked in light, brighter than before. I feel peace: solid, all-consuming
peace. My heart swells, overcome by love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">‘Where did you go? Why can’t I see you
anymore?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
am within</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">‘Me? You are within me?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Yes.
<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">‘But, I wanted to be in your arms; I
wanted to feel your arms around me, feel your strength.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">You
have my love. You have peace, do you not?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">‘It’s wavering.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Then
stop thinking. Be.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">‘What do you mean be?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Become
peace. Become love. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I open my eyes, the moment passed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The sun vanished, having slipped behind
the dense black of trees. I am only just now aware of Time. Living in the
present is difficult. In this moment the difficulty isn’t in staying in the
present, the difficulty is when being in the present removes you from the world
around you, and reentry into the world is disorienting. Time has moved in this
world, though not the world I was just in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Invigorated and inspired, I peeled
myself off the hard bench, standing to stretch the stiffness from my muscles.
The cathartic experience releasing the blood flow, as I focus on the oxygen
being pushed through my body, makes me giddy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">~~~<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“So…what made you think to speak to
Bruce Jackson?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I called Todd about twenty minutes ago, to come pick me up and take me to Bruce Jackson’s office a few towns over, yet
to share why. He was in his typical garb: jeans and a button up shirt. And I
was in my usual, as well: jeans and a t-shirt, with hair in a ponytail. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“After the bomb of Ava and I being
half-sisters sunk in – well, as much as it can right now – I went back to the
lavender room. Among all of the legal documents, and such, I came across a
journal. At first, I thought it was my grandmothers, but soon realized it was
penned by Rosemarie.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Ok…” Todd said, clearly not sure where
this line of thought was going.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Bear with me. Rosemarie began her
journal following walking in on her father, Carter, attempting to commit
suicide. Upon finding the note, she rushed around looking for him. She walked
in just as he kicked the chair out from under his feet. She was responsible for
cutting him down, effectively saving his life.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Wow…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“It gets better: she was pregnant with me
when she found her father.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I still don’t see how this has anything
to do with Bruce.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“After reading the events in Rosemarie’s
journal, I remembered what Stella had said of Lillian’s novels: that the
suicide note within one was Carter’s suicide note verbatim. She had joked of
the possibility that many realities of their lives were fictionalized for the
use of her novels. So, I read them for added context.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“All of them?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“All of them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“So, what do you think you learned?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“First, due to Carter’s post-traumatic
stress disorder from the war, the pressure of the new book store, and Rosemarie
being pregnant and alone, Carter lost his ability to deal. It was just too much
for him. After Rosemarie walked in on his attempted suicide, Lillian decided to
send him to a center for Vets. This was for the benefit of all. The story of him
going overseas was Carter’s idea, for the purpose of saving Lillian’s
reputation with the new bookstore. Now, from the journal, Rosemarie was pretty
messed up over the whole thing, resulting in Lillian sending her to a hospital
for the remaining term of her pregnancy. I think this was more to ensure that I
would be born healthy, and to keep Rosemarie from doing anything drastic. However,
Rosemarie was enraged over this. After my birth, they kept her in a psych ward
because she began suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. At some point,
Lillian couldn’t afford her care anymore and decided to relocate her back home,
setting her up in the now abandoned cabin. Lillian, during this time, had been
in contact with Chet about the whole thing. He offered to help out, visiting
the cabin to see me and monitor Rosemarie. Eventually, Rosemarie wasn’t happy
being – what she called – a prisoner.
And to a point, I suppose this was true. Rosemarie came up with a plan.
One she thought was brilliant: She would wear a disguise as an effort to get
out into the world.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Red hair and purple glasses…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Yep! I guess Lillian was surprised,
though felt keeping the peace was better than rocking the already tipping boat.
Apparently this worked in helping to rehab Rosemarie. She got some time to work
out her issues, while staying the nights she worked at the bookstore in the
apartment above.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“What made Chet bail out?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“He was pseudo-forced to marry someone
his father approved, and seeing as how no one knew he was Rosemarie’s baby’s
father, they struck a deal. He would help financially through the buying of
antique books to supplement the cost of a child. Rosemarie finally made it back
to being her own person and we ‘moved’ back to town after the ‘intern’ left.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Exactly how does all of this fit in
with Bruce Jackson?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“In Rosemarie’s journal, she believed
she was being harassed and stalked by my uncle, Oliver. She became terrified he
was going to tell all their secrets she had tried so desperately to keep.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Didn’t we already determine he was a
loose cannon?<i> And</i> that he was trying to out your mom’s secret?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Yes – BUT, what we didn’t know was that
my mom accidentally killed Oliver. At least, she held herself responsible for
his death. Apparently, Grandma came up with the idea to make it look as if his
old life had followed him here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I still don’t understand. Why visit
Bruce Jackson?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“The picture painted in Lillian’s novels
revealed some interesting notions. Something doesn’t quite add up – call it a
hunch, or a woman’s intuition.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“What do you think you will find by
going to him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Please bear with me. If what I have
gleaned from the fiction penned by my grandmother, I promise, you won’t be
disappointed. Let’s see if I’m right first…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">~~~<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">We finally arrived at the office of
Bruce Jackson. Wasting no time, we were at the receptionist’s desk in seconds.
After five minutes of waiting in the waiting room, comprised of four seats and
a typical office desk one might expect to find in a small business, we were
escorted to Bruce’s office. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Upon entering, I saw the man sitting
behind the desk. A smile began to curve at the corner of my mouth – I was
right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Hello, Uncle Oliver.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
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The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-76461487068217247882014-03-04T10:56:00.000-05:002014-03-04T10:56:17.618-05:00Spiritual CocoonI am very aware that I have been MIA the past couple of months. The simple reason for this is God has put me in a spiritual cocoon.<br />
<br />
What does that mean? Good question.<br />
<br />
I have been drawn far inside my heart to the secret place where God and I meet. He is doing some amazing work on my inner self -- Sins I am committing are brought to the very forefront of my being.<br />
<br />
The main sin I am to conquer: Frustration.<br />
<br />
I have allowed the emotion of Frustration rule many of my decisions. I didn't realize how often I allowed this feeling to coat my heart. I got to the point of embracing this Frustration. I am now at a point where I recognize Frustration in the moment it presents itself, leaving me to ask myself: <i>Why? To what end is this feeling appropriate? What is the purpose of my inviting this Frustration into the house that is my heart?</i><br />
<br />
The other sin I am being led to recognize: Guilt.<br />
<br />
I have denied myself joy due to allowing Guilt to dictate my life. I have chosen over and over to let Guilt prevent present day experiences, resulting in personal punishment for choices I made in the past. You know what else? The decisions I have made based on Guilt have transferred this punishment to my family.<br />
<br />
I am currently in the 'thick-of-things' with God. I am in awe of the investment He is putting in me, in our relationship. There is more to the restructuring of my spiritual self that I am unable to divulge, at this time. But, when the time is right I will be in a place to share my journey in reference to this spiritual cocoon, once on the other side.<br />
<br />
So, for now, I continue to wait on God. I give Him permission to change my heart, my mind, and my spirit to align myself with His Heart and Mind and Spirit, bringing me closer to my God given identity.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Romans 12:1-2</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God -- this is our true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will. </span>The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-25095298600671374122014-02-06T09:25:00.000-05:002014-02-06T13:22:15.574-05:00I Miss the Color Green!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigs7UlirHOvzxhamiKiwMnNx_FsUIVOpAUAvaT2_d6fwl6cuT5Ag3PwkfLp21n-Nu3N7wD6AHWU1iVvDfqIdKIX4q1iXKTQD8VTj9D4DvEEuY_atBgOWCMMCr40iYEAGx_Eaujmm-_ThA/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-16+0222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigs7UlirHOvzxhamiKiwMnNx_FsUIVOpAUAvaT2_d6fwl6cuT5Ag3PwkfLp21n-Nu3N7wD6AHWU1iVvDfqIdKIX4q1iXKTQD8VTj9D4DvEEuY_atBgOWCMMCr40iYEAGx_Eaujmm-_ThA/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-16+0222.jpg" height="191" width="400" /></a></div>
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I also miss seeing a landscape without any snow :)<br />
We have accumulated a foot of snow.<br />
It is white.<br />
And bright.<br />
But not green.<br />
Or warm.<br />
In an effort to remind myself what it is like to not have snow, I have found myself participating in vicarious transportation.<br />
By submersing myself in pictures of the past.<br />
I am pulling up memories of being outside in shorts and tank tops, reveling in the warm sun caressing my being and salty air enveloping my senses.<br />
Not stuck inside with cabin fever because it is too cold to do anything.<br />
Oh, Spring, where art thou?<br />
However, I will say, Winter certainly helps me to appreciate Spring!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Joel 2:21-23</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">21</span> Do not be afraid, land of Judah; be glad and rejoice. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Surely the Lord has done great things!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">22</span> Do not be afraid, you wild animals, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> for the pastures in the wilderness are becoming green. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The trees are bearing their fruit; </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> the fig tree and the vine yield their riches.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">23</span> Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> He sends you abundant showers, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> both autumn and spring rains, as before. </span>The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-77920458634079835922014-01-31T12:19:00.000-05:002014-01-31T12:35:00.760-05:00Batman Quilt = Success!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>The Batman Quilt:) </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4ZOJwaOCtRYgwgetanDy1vWk17l7I-QuuW9H_d8emizuPPVjtWXc3KqFClxQ25Wql3o0UMNj5NqsM46V6R6CgshccxKxera5omnaa_UR4WPsFQtxMGMRxreqbEQpl4r9ULgG9ZWKeFk/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4ZOJwaOCtRYgwgetanDy1vWk17l7I-QuuW9H_d8emizuPPVjtWXc3KqFClxQ25Wql3o0UMNj5NqsM46V6R6CgshccxKxera5omnaa_UR4WPsFQtxMGMRxreqbEQpl4r9ULgG9ZWKeFk/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+038.JPG" height="640" width="392" /></a></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">The top right corner is a pocket. I did run into a bit of trouble with a couple of the large squares made of old t-shirts. They stretched, and stretched, and stretched. This made it difficult in lining up a couple of seams. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Every time I ironed, they stretched. But a bit of hand stitching fixed any issues. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The left and right blue panels are folded over the edge of the Batman border. I ran two stitches up the length of each side on the top of the fabric. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I did this for two reasons: one, to make it easier on me, for I am not a well versed seamstress; two, it added to the stability of the quilt, in the sense that it is meant to prevent the top and bottom materials from slipping and ruining the integrity of the centering of the design.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: lime;"><b>CHRISTMAS MORNING:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Before I had a chance to completely lay out the blanket for Kit to view, he began playing hopscotch... </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-j8w4-fiD3bvEaAdG4kumbP6S3T9LzeNlrAmi8-nIe4ltCxDAp0yOdv-YOk-eRvPJeraWwvE3SEl3orP2A3P9J3GRIcYjwP8B4IxxSataTLFM2BjwGGZzb3roUT0EsmCyeE1fYYg8sQ/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-j8w4-fiD3bvEaAdG4kumbP6S3T9LzeNlrAmi8-nIe4ltCxDAp0yOdv-YOk-eRvPJeraWwvE3SEl3orP2A3P9J3GRIcYjwP8B4IxxSataTLFM2BjwGGZzb3roUT0EsmCyeE1fYYg8sQ/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+034.JPG" height="196" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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...eventually running out of hoppable space...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUzKzb68Ed4hfjU9WjuTN6aksqh7M8MISo2wH94cek597cpHyjOkpFp8_IPP30XG2whBYVhuCn3a2dEktFiKMdTa3KFXZvlc0R7_AxcAqHqKcbFaSpMzvLxcrUSbyyGBg63GzpwiXcEkA/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUzKzb68Ed4hfjU9WjuTN6aksqh7M8MISo2wH94cek597cpHyjOkpFp8_IPP30XG2whBYVhuCn3a2dEktFiKMdTa3KFXZvlc0R7_AxcAqHqKcbFaSpMzvLxcrUSbyyGBg63GzpwiXcEkA/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+035.JPG" height="156" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
...leading him to investigating each and every square...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijtQK0EFOFE0D4oPi6DzmdEbMJ9z_jTjitAdnYYxc4OUWw9P5DLwZU6Bfs89vOfQHcLtxnYlpqeMQj3RoYuxsKcy5nsvWtbVh_a7TWvV4iAhc9sPIrg1_YjK4WQipx7Y-dl-7IkFtH7eQ/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijtQK0EFOFE0D4oPi6DzmdEbMJ9z_jTjitAdnYYxc4OUWw9P5DLwZU6Bfs89vOfQHcLtxnYlpqeMQj3RoYuxsKcy5nsvWtbVh_a7TWvV4iAhc9sPIrg1_YjK4WQipx7Y-dl-7IkFtH7eQ/s1600/2013-12-25+002+2013-12-25+037.JPG" height="186" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
...sharing his memories of the various costumes and clothing with his great grandma.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
One of the reasons I waited so long to share Kit's opinion/reaction to this gift was that I wanted to get a genuine feeling from him after he's had some time with it. Initially, when explained to him that this Batman quilt was his new blanket for his new bunk beds, he thought he had to choose between the cool Batman quilt and his favorite black blanket he's had since crib years. It took some time to help him understand that he can love both blankets, and use both blankets, at the same time. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2YTdd-IiX7kVo7qn2TfU1wNnhdp9lKmvkCfUQejvEFMd_IrUq7WhcoK-SiXbU32Vo3u_XaaymeB4hp2zjsxFBJGVmHX5SgvXg_dZcdSfF-8UVXG03T7jaDDf6sRK5lPFMqIF_KyOi7A/s1600/2013-12-25+001+2013-12-25+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2YTdd-IiX7kVo7qn2TfU1wNnhdp9lKmvkCfUQejvEFMd_IrUq7WhcoK-SiXbU32Vo3u_XaaymeB4hp2zjsxFBJGVmHX5SgvXg_dZcdSfF-8UVXG03T7jaDDf6sRK5lPFMqIF_KyOi7A/s1600/2013-12-25+001+2013-12-25+005.JPG" height="233" width="400" /></a></div>
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Now, he cuddles with his black blanket and covers up with his Batman quilt! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I did have a few moments of frustration, which led me to lean on God during this process. He gave me patience and stamina. He also helped me to keep my perfectionism in check. It's so easy to get caught up in all of the tiny details, resulting in a pull of attention from the matter at hand. Taking many deep breaths, and uttering many prayers, God helped me to keep my focus on the purpose, not the outcome. By letting go of my own expectations for this quilt, I was able to enjoy the process of creating something with God, for our shared child. This quilt is not perfect, it will win no awards. But, it is beautiful in the meaning behind, and the time spent on, this labor of love. </div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-88599809332671148922013-12-30T13:36:00.000-05:002014-04-26T14:02:02.111-04:00The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 25<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Chapter
25 Facts and Finds </b></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The next morning, I awake to a note from
Stella taped to a full coffee pot. She’s out running. Coffee made, Stella out
on a run, I choose to take my cup-o-Joe to the sun porch. A good sit sounded
perfect this late morning. I need to set myself straight before I start a long
day hunting down answers. As I pursue that secret place with God, it dawns on
me that I should read the bible more… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Oh,
Lord…here I am, so thankful to You for all You have shown me, all You have done
for me…And yet, I find that I want more. Do I need more? You have all of the answers.
You have shared some of them with me. How do I keep peace with where I am,
while striving for the rest of what is meant for me to have? How do I find that
balance? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">My
dear child, seek My rest and you shall find peace there. Waiting won’t feel
such a heavy burden if you lean upon Me. Read the word and you will yet be
closer to Me, still.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I sigh. Whether relief, contentment, or
resignation I know not – Probably all of the above. Resting my head back, I
close my eyes taking a deep slow breath. I feel better than I have in days,
having accepted much that is out of my control. I am in that place with God
that is secret and sacred. Sorry, can’t share more than that. Most likely
because there are no words that exist in this physical world of ours that can
possible do justice in explaining what God does with me in this sacred place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">And I don’t want to share. It’s mine…and
His alone. A wonderful God that is capable of having a secret sacred spiritual
relationship with each and every one of His children, independent of each
other, is truly awesome. We can all have it if we are willing to see Truth,
including our own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I sense that I am drifting, happily. A blanket
of tranquility drapes over me and I settle into this feeling of calm and cool. I
envision myself with a lazy smile upon my face, muscles relaxed. I
involuntarily take another deep slow breath, feeling the oxygen within my blood
coursing down my limbs, bringing life to my extremities…for one moment I feel
the sensation that is best described as “Aaahhhhh”…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Something
crashing to the floor woke me from my nap. Startled, my body tensed, breathing
halted, as I waited in anticipation of any more noise to come. Hearing a
shuffling sound in the lavender room next door, I whipped my blankets off and
jumped out of bed in one quick motion. Grandma is back!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
hurried into the room, expecting to see my grandmother’s warm face, “Grandma–”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
skid to a halt, brought up short at seeing a man…<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Uncle
Oliver?” I asked, perplexed. He was kneeling before the drawers in the built
in, a couple of drawers on the floor. That must have been the sound that woke
me.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Ivy…I,
um…” He scrambled to shuffle papers back into a pile, clearly searching for
words before turning his attention back to me. “I, um, Ivy, I was just looking
for something. I, uh…well, I want to surprise grandma and I needed to check
something out. So, if you could keep this to yourself? I don’t want to ruin the
present.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Was
he asking me a question? I wasn’t sure. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">~~~<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I came to still sitting in the sun
porch, feeling refreshed, relaxed and rearing to go. I hop up to my feet,
stopping first at the coffee pot for a refill, then make my way upstairs to the
lavender room. My goal: search the built-ins – Oliver was there for a reason.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Starting with the drawers, I begin
pulling them out one at a time noticing something curious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I think there might be a secret
compartment behind these drawers.” Now I’m speaking out loud to myself, ha!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The drawers are only six inches deep, where
the shelves on either side of it are a full foot deep. It didn’t take me long
to remove all of the drawers. What I found most interesting about the carpentry
of this built in was how the drawers were engineered. Typically, there is a
frame in which the drawer sits with a track in the frame and along the bottom
of the drawer. This is to ensure a proper fit and allowance for ease in pulling
and pushing the drawer in and out. Before me, however, was something
reminiscent of ‘tongue and groove’. There are no partitions within the frame
filling the center of where the drawers go. In fact, it was a huge open hole
that appeared to be waiting for shelves to be slid in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As I looked at the drawers themselves, I
noticed two ‘tongues’ running from front to back on the sides, one on top and
one on the bottom. These fit into the ‘grooves’ running along the sides of the
open space of the built-ins. Feeling the front of the solid piece of wood
covering the back of the drawers – “Ow!” – my finger caught on metal. Upon closer
inspection, I notice it is a key hole! I am so excited! Practically sprinting,
I run down the stairs to retrieve the key necklace from my mother’s apartment
bedroom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Before I make it back upstairs, Stella
breezes through the door out of breath and sweaty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Hey, how was your run?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Great! I just need water, a shower and
then coffee…Lots of coffee!” She grinned, leaning against the shut door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Well, once you are done with all of
that, come upstairs to the lavender room. You are going to love this!” And I
was off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">~~~<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In no time at all, Stella had her cup of
coffee, startling me with her presence, “Hey, are you all right? You look
horrified at something you found.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I didn’t respond.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“What are you looking at?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I still couldn’t speak, so I shoved the
note in Stella’s hands. She gasps before revealing that this note is verbatim
of the one in a novel she read: A novel written by none other than Lillian
Sanders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Stella quickly leaves the room,
returning with an armful of Lillian Sanders novels. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Is that what I think it is?” I paused
waiting to hear Stella’s response. When there is none, I continue talking,
feeling the need to fill the air with something. “My grandfather, Carter
Sanders, committed suicide??? Is that really his suicide note?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Plopping herself in an armchair, Stella
shares her thoughts (finally!), “What I find incredibly interesting – and exciting,
even if it is a bit morbid – is that this note written by Carter is the exact
same suicide note as one of Lillian’s fictional characters from her novels. I
am looking for it right now.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As Stella began her search for the note
in a book, I figured I might as well continue searching the files. Who knows
what other gold may be in here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> “Maybe
there is more here in this room that also makes an appearance in her novels.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Maybe her novels are more truth than
fiction, a form of therapy for your grandmother.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Little did I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">After about an hour Stella speaks,
having noticed I haven’t moved in some time, “Ivy, what is it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“It’s, uh, it’s my…my birth certificate…”
That is right, I found my birth certificate. I should be happy, joyful,
shouting from the roof tops <i>I know who my
dad is</i>! But, I can’t. I am in shock. I guess a part of me actually believed
this day may never come, and I had found peace in that. Barely above a whisper,
I squeak out, “My father is Chester Abbott.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Who?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Chester Abbott. Chet for short.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Why does that sound familiar?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I don’t know...But at least now Todd has
a name to search.” I heard, saw, felt nothing else in this moment. I had a name
to the question, who is my father? I closed my eyes, pressing the birth
certificate against my chest, muttering one last time, “Chester Abbott is my
father.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“But that’s my father,” said an
incredulous Ava. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Timing certainly is everything.</span><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-secrets-held-within-chapter-26.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Chapter 26 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</span></a></div>
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The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-79795757066928719462013-12-26T12:27:00.001-05:002013-12-30T13:40:05.142-05:00Don't Touch the Gifts Under the Tree...Until it is TimeThis time of year is a perfect tangible representation of God's promises to us, that we must yet wait for. We are called to praise and thank God for the gifts we have yet to receive. Sometimes, I find this quite difficult. But, all month long, as presents began filling up the skirt of our tree, it dawned on me how we practice this act year in and year out. Let me explain:<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjgdEN9DL9LH9hQFUUj2pjjBeT899OebIXrXWD5dFZp1OfoSFmNGkMIHlgEzc5cyb_RWJ1BmuAdQkMNZLz1LboMBjaUfxugymuSLy2EJznPGd-AolhIECGk3mdDlGUbnK70avS4gKqqPI/s1600/2013-12-24+001+2013-12-24+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjgdEN9DL9LH9hQFUUj2pjjBeT899OebIXrXWD5dFZp1OfoSFmNGkMIHlgEzc5cyb_RWJ1BmuAdQkMNZLz1LboMBjaUfxugymuSLy2EJznPGd-AolhIECGk3mdDlGUbnK70avS4gKqqPI/s1600/2013-12-24+001+2013-12-24+005.JPG" height="205" width="400" /></a></div>
Kit saw the presents with his name on them the first week of December. He had no idea what lived within the wrapping paper, <i>but</i>...<br />
<br />
he knew he was getting gifts! He also knew that he had to wait for those gifts...Wait for what felt like an eternity to a four year old.<br />
<br />
Quite frankly, it felt like an eternity to me, as well! I just wanted to watch him tear into his gifts!<br />
<br />
The amazing thing: Kit thanked his Mommy and Daddy for his presents - prior to Christmas.<br />
<br />
That is how it is with God and His promises to us. We may feel that we are waiting for a perceived forever, but everything is in God's timing -- And, God's timing is perfect. Not just for Him and His purposes, but for us. How wonderful is it that God cares so much for our well-being that He waits until it makes sense to give us our gifts? He has told us He will provide us food, shelter and clothing. He will also give us rest, strength and patience when we need it.<br />
<br />
The next time I am frustrated with waiting on God, I am going to praise Him and thank Him for all He<i> has</i> done, all He <i>is </i>doing, and <b>all He <i>will</i> do</b>.The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-15326789463606541682013-12-26T11:59:00.000-05:002013-12-30T13:40:05.140-05:00Santa, Jesus, and KitWe have been struggling with the whole Santa thing since Kit was born. I personally have fond memories of believing in Santa, and even realized while I was young that he wasn't real. My husband was devastated when he found out Santa was merely his parents.<br />
<br />
And, what about Jesus? How does Santa fit in with Jesus?<br />
<br />
And the questions to come: If Santa isn't real, is Jesus? Is God? How do we know????<br />
<br />
So...what do we do? How do we allow our children the fun and experience of Santa, while retaining the truth about this holiday, our Savior, Jesus Christ?<br />
<br />
We told Kit that the idea of Santa is the spirit of giving, based off of a man named Saint Nicolas, who inhabited the spirit of giving to the less fortunate; which ultimately came from the spirit of Jesus, who gave the ultimate in gifts. <br />
<br />
I am hoping that without creating a physical person who represents Santa Clause, revealing him in more of spirit form, with the idea of giving, Kit will be able to take the complete truth with understanding. The rest is in God's hands.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: white;">Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never parish, spoil or fade... ~1 Peter 1:3-4</span><br />
<br />
This gift of life after death began with the birth of a Holy Man, The One and Only Son of God.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas.The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-15652416603344065592013-11-29T18:22:00.000-05:002013-11-29T18:34:27.313-05:00Batman Quilt Progress Report<div style="text-align: center;">
The Batman Quilt</div>
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<br /></div>
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The inspiration for this quilt spawned from The Rustic Knight being adamant about keeping all clothing batman related, and me trying to figure out what to do with them that didn't include keeping them in a box, until Kit had children of his own. We bought Kit his new bunk bed a couple of months ago and decided he needed a new blanket to fit the new twin beds...</div>
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Lo and behold, a Batman quilt!</div>
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Keep in mind, I have absolutely no idea how to make a quilt.</div>
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I am just sewing on a prayer, trusting that this will all work out...</div>
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Because I know it will be beautiful. And I know Kit will love this :)</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here are the materials used: </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDpFZ0Ikb9h9if_qkVctnmIkxIbaF-hMIzmS9AbzS2l7VGJeH2sDCnCPb8Le2YfX-cO2jnenG1EF4VysomLxBod07R-EDrnjgA6NN-54n9LShtmlAhi0sYd0CbuGrirkXm4r9UtRBvb70/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDpFZ0Ikb9h9if_qkVctnmIkxIbaF-hMIzmS9AbzS2l7VGJeH2sDCnCPb8Le2YfX-cO2jnenG1EF4VysomLxBod07R-EDrnjgA6NN-54n9LShtmlAhi0sYd0CbuGrirkXm4r9UtRBvb70/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+001.JPG" height="274" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Batman t-shirts, pajamas, and costumes...</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid8l3TglIgJujMTBXld2QOf7RnWZhCkS7Qp6BdBlqtWrr7gALidjQkoCD_VFY_IxQdC7hNbKM43gOwzTsHLL7hW09CTZC_182jHKy3hoq2rANyIR4bR3QakKLVKgjBlj6br2-c2eez1b0/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid8l3TglIgJujMTBXld2QOf7RnWZhCkS7Qp6BdBlqtWrr7gALidjQkoCD_VFY_IxQdC7hNbKM43gOwzTsHLL7hW09CTZC_182jHKy3hoq2rANyIR4bR3QakKLVKgjBlj6br2-c2eez1b0/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+002.JPG" height="273" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some clothing I had that I never wear, but<br />
are the appropriate colors</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5LcdNlT90KTv1WvCYdecLFdOmN0KOBQmR7E8EBreLzoszNtY09NGFoZxRhYhWDKpJSX9c9hpWYC4THYXHBtiQrY_wA67CZob0EEjX1SrtpLGR-6vwrsTJJDvxJWdx7HS5WbcSUB1frA/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5LcdNlT90KTv1WvCYdecLFdOmN0KOBQmR7E8EBreLzoszNtY09NGFoZxRhYhWDKpJSX9c9hpWYC4THYXHBtiQrY_wA67CZob0EEjX1SrtpLGR-6vwrsTJJDvxJWdx7HS5WbcSUB1frA/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+003.JPG" height="165" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small; text-align: right;">We bought fleece material for the base of the blanket and batman material for the squares;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><span style="text-align: right;">I have enough to make pillow covers. </span>I bought a total of 5 yards for $35! </span></td></tr>
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<a name='more'></a>After laying out all of my material, I took inventory of what I had in Batman decals and the other colors. </div>
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Then, I did a mock layout of the pattern to be the quilt. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDUkLsyI1nZb-6VoZWqdoPpp-6v1hdtJ1oHu89T16uQbI-jEO9u623FQPIWdIVIAGi0Q-RR4KCmnnVLnc_J-nkpaOk_CrgxboR2vzeaT7-BfkyZbrPdU9zQ9xr-y01272IGci4m0tt4yk/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDUkLsyI1nZb-6VoZWqdoPpp-6v1hdtJ1oHu89T16uQbI-jEO9u623FQPIWdIVIAGi0Q-RR4KCmnnVLnc_J-nkpaOk_CrgxboR2vzeaT7-BfkyZbrPdU9zQ9xr-y01272IGci4m0tt4yk/s1600/2013-11-26+001+2013-11-04+004.JPG" height="400" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I spent about a half hour deciding the placement of the squares.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4TMQzA4HO2YHMaZWOIcG_-R35AcV0Qjt6VPSUnia7NXJvut8zVTC6rBSjUJ3HWzhiTfHQb-SJoYfsmZfu1_8D6zI0DXBO4nAgb3MZAviZQBHqKDFXc3Re9xDv9ovUSkP2VehmtN-e3gE/s1600/batman+quilt+breakdown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4TMQzA4HO2YHMaZWOIcG_-R35AcV0Qjt6VPSUnia7NXJvut8zVTC6rBSjUJ3HWzhiTfHQb-SJoYfsmZfu1_8D6zI0DXBO4nAgb3MZAviZQBHqKDFXc3Re9xDv9ovUSkP2VehmtN-e3gE/s1600/batman+quilt+breakdown.jpg" height="400" width="373" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click on image to see full size :)</td></tr>
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I am moving so quickly on this project, </div>
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that I believe I will have this complete within the next couple of weeks! </div>
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Of course, it's not like I have much more time than that anyhow :)</div>
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<br />The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-73297841990348413542013-11-20T09:58:00.001-05:002013-11-20T10:09:42.653-05:00Don't StopBelow is a poem I wrote a few years ago -- I know I was home with Kit when I wrote it; he was 1 or 2...I had been deep in solitude and felt very alone. I was in a dark place, beginning to see the truth of my own heart; it was heart breaking. This was around the beginning of the severing of my ties to the past that bound me to the world, not God.<br />
<br />
I still have moments when I completely relate to how I felt when I initially wrote this prayer. I think it's important to remember, that no matter how far we come spiritually, or how close we get to God, there are times we struggle with being the best we can be. We work hard, we mature in spiritual nature, and we land in that place of contentment. We are succeeding and it feels wonderful!<br />
<br />
Then, we hit upon a stumbling block that sends us spinning and we need help getting back to that wonderful place we know to be Good. This is part of the fight in choosing Jesus, choosing His sacrifice, choosing to pick up the cross, day after day.<br />
<br />
God led me to this prayer today, to remind me that He has shown me how to pray when I begin to question myself in my relationship with Him. I am sharing this because He has told me to. Every time I have been led to this prayer, it reminds me that I am human, and that God will always allow me to express my concerns with Him. I am filled with peace after reading this. May God bless you and keep you, may His face shine down upon you, and may you be touched by His grace...I love you all.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;">Don't Stop</span></u></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Thank You for giving Your only son to me;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I want You to have all of me;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I am trying and it is not enough;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I am disappointed in my efforts;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">It is harder that it should be, and I make it that way;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">In reality, it couldn't be simpler: Give my will and being to You, and let You do as You wish.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">And why am I not able to do that?</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I keep slipping away, instead of into;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I am falling from grace each day, my hands wildly grasping for You, as I sink further into darkness.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Please, I need You to reach out and thrust me into Your arms;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I am<i> too </i>weak to do this on my own.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Surround me with those who know You, so I may see You work in others every day;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">May I be reminded of You every day and always.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Beauty is Your essence;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I see the beauty You created.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">All You want is to be sought after and loved -- I am seeking You and offer myself.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">My love is for the taking; for I know You are a forever fountain of replenishing love.</span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Please consume me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I love <u>You</u>...I love <u>You</u>...I love <u>You</u>. </span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I am scared...Give me courage;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I push You away...Don't move;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I scream at You...Don't cover Your ears;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I hurt myself...Don't look away;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I lose faith...Remind me;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I collapse...Pick me up;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I cannot breathe...Give me life;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I cannot see...Lead the way;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I am speechless...Speak for me;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I am wrong...Show me Your light;</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">When I am tired...Give me strength.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">All I want is what You want:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">to be loved,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;">appreciated,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">fought for,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">seen,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">sought after.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">You take me as I am, though I am not sure who that is;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">You know my heart better than I.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I feel You more than I am aware;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I see You, though not focused;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I hear you, even if it is static;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I stumble through the dark to get closer to You.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I hold myself back in my humanness, not realizing; and yet You forgive me, always. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I am putting up my own walls, even as I tear them down.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">You are patient, as I waste the hours.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Repetitive I am in my journey to You;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I learn, just to unlearn Your lessons.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Heartache is a comfortable place to be, and yet You are not there.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Why must I disregard You so continuously?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I have grown, though I am still crawling.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Thank you for keeping me above the quicksand, saving my life time, and time again.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Don't Stop. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;">In Jesus Christ's name, Amen. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Crimson Text'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;">~ Penned by: </span><b style="font-family: 'Crimson Text'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;">The Paisley Butterfly</b><span style="font-family: 'Crimson Text'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22px;"> during the years of 2010 & 2011 ~</span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-74897559975915312942013-11-19T10:22:00.001-05:002013-11-19T10:22:26.822-05:00God Gave Me Tape<span style="font-size: large;">Interesting title, but it is truth verbatim. </span><br />
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The house we are renting has mostly single pane windows, the storm windows missing. We have to put up plastic and tape to seal out the harsh western winds during this season. You should see the plastic when such weather transpires: our curtains bubble out, the plastic filling with cold air...it is quite an eye opener!<br />
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About a week or so ago, I had done the dining room windows. Prior to that, The Rustic Knight and I completed the upstairs. Yesterday, I did the living room, leaving only the kitchen. I ran out of tape upon completion of the dining room. I literally had enough to do those two windows. Praise God!<br />
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Yesterday, I was caulking around the molding surrounding two newer windows in the living room. We have four windows: two new facing front, two old facing back. The two newer windows were not insulated properly, therefore you can see through to the outside of the molding. Hence the caulking. In the middle of sealing these cracks, I thought to myself, "It would be totally awesome if God just miraculously placed a role of tape in our junk drawer."<br />
<br />
Now, we were going to buy tape, but when we went to the store, we weren't prepared to spend what the stores were asking for. This was not because we didn't have the money for it, we just didn't want/couldn't bring ourselves to spend our money on the tape. It seems odd in hindsight, yet I also understand why we didn't buy it, because...<br />
<br />
How would this have happened:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Somehow -- though I know it was God -- I was completely filled with joy. It started with prayer Sunday night. I needed help being motivated. God answered. I got a lot done yesterday, me being aware of His presence as I worked, throwing up praise and gratitude to our Heavenly Father along the way. So, there I was, filled with joy and peace and motivation. I wanted to finish all of the windows in the living room -- that day. And I knew I needed tape, tape that I did not have. Thus, the prayer in my heart.<br />
<br />
To be honest, it was more of a vision. I visualized the tape in my drawer before I laughed to myself and thought how awesome it would be if it ended up there, knowing it could happen. Once finished with the caulk, I commenced looking in the drawer. Lo and behold, tape!<br />
<br />
In the moment I pictured that tape in my mind, which I truly believe God placed that image there, I instantly believed it would be there. And why not? If I was meant to continue in my motivation, and I was to complete the living room windows, God would provide the tape for me. I know from previous experience, God gives me what I need when I need it. All that is required of me is to <i>believe</i>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Matthew 21:18-22</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Jesus Says the Disciples Can Pray for Anything</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">18</span> Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">19</span> Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately the tree withered. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">20</span> When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. "How did the fig tree wither so quickly?" they asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">21</span> Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, no only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'go, throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">22</span> If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Belief is faith in the truth or existence of something not instantly capable of being tried. </span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Belief is confidence, trust, conviction of something not seen. </span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Belief is knowing without needing proof. </span></b></i></div>
<br />
I trusted in the ability of God to provide the tape in that moment. I had faith in His plan to allow me to complete a task. This means, I had not even an ounce of doubt in my heart. The idea that there wouldn't be tape in my drawer never crossed my mind. I had confidence that I would be blessed by a miracle, this miracle of tape, seemingly insignificant...But what a wonderful moment for a miracle! Miracles are everywhere in our lives. We need to choose to see them. We need to believe in the will of God to provide for us, to care for us, to want what is best for us! He loves us! We need want for nothing...God will give us all we need.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">We just have to BELIEVE!!!! </span></b></div>
<br />
Keep in mind, this is not an endorsement to ask for anything and expect to receive it. What we ask for to receive in prayer must be for the good of God's plan and will. The closer we become to God, the more our hearts will align with God's, lending our prayers to marry with God's ultimate plan. He will not give us something that will hurt us, and He will not give us something that goes against His Divine Design. Ask yourself what it is you are asking for. Is it in your best interest to be granted what you are asking? Is the prayer in your heart a prayer of God's will? What are your intentions?<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mark 11:20-25</span></b><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jesus Says the Disciples Can Pray for Anything </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">20</span> In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. 21 Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">22</span> 'Have faith in God," Jesus said. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">23</span> "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go,throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">24</span> Therefor I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">25</span> And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." </span><br />
<br />
Let's take this a step further: Focus your faith in God. When we put our focus on God, having faith in HIS ability and HIS will, prayers can be answered. If we put our focus and faith on the object we are praying for, we will be left with disappointment. It's not the object or the outcome meant for our attention, it is the way of receiving the desired outcome that matters:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">God is <i>THE</i> way...the <i>ONLY</i> way. </span></b></div>
The more we focus on God, the more we become one with Him, the more our hearts will be filled with His purpose for us. Which, can only happen when we have a clean heart, harboring no grudges or judgement for anyone within our heart. We must forgive others in order to be forgiven. We must be forgiven in order for God to move in us, to work in us, to answer our prayers. We must forsake any ill feelings we have towards our brothers and sisters in Christ to be successful in focusing our attention on God.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Dear Lord, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Help focus our minds and hearts on You alone. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Guide our thoughts and feelings, making them one with Yours. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Show us how to pray, so we may see the fulfilled promise before the prayer has completely left our lips. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Reveal your Divine Design to us, so we may better understand Your ways. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In Jesus Christ's name, Amen</div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-48956710636128851402013-11-11T12:43:00.000-05:002013-12-30T13:39:17.445-05:00The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 24<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Chapter
24, Revelation Of The Heart</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I actually think I can work with that,
if you would like me to do some digging around?” Todd didn’t miss a beat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Isn’t Chet a nickname though? For some
reason, I feel that Chet is not his full name. Maybe it was for protection in
anonymity?” Though, I couldn’t figure out why my father needed to hide his
identity from…From whom? My mind was a blank. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“It could be. I’ll do a search of names
associated with the nickname Chet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I nodded, becoming restless in my
thoughts. My mind began traveling back to what Ava and Todd had said about the
boarder, how that woman arrived after my mother left. “Did you search what
school my mom went to?” I snuck a look at him. “Maybe my mother met my father
in college? Is the timing right for that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Yeah, I searched.” Todd seemed to suck
in his breath. Time suspended. “There is no record she enrolled in college.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Huh.” I stood. My body needed to move
while my wheels turned. The thought of my body oiling the machine of my mind
made me smile to myself. “Todd, what else did you learn? You look as if to have
more to say.” I stopped at the window facing the pergola, not that I could see
anything outside my reflection, the sky black onyx. Stepping closer, I cupped
my hands around my eyes, pressing against the cool glass. The moon, somewhere within the sky, created the effect of metallic striations found in
the stone, by illuminating a few wisps of clouds. I have no idea what time it
is, but it is certainly late. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I actually began a search on the
various members of your family days ago. I have learned a lot that goes against
what has been gleaned from memories and stories.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Okay…” My stomach jumped with abandon,
an odd sensation, this. It always amazed me how the body reacted to the
unknown: a strange awareness coursing through the body, percolated by
adrenaline. For what is the purpose? My body wasting valuable energy in
preparing for the worst, body and mind programmed to react to
fear, before fear is even realized…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I’m not sure where to start…Your mother
never went to college, though I already disclosed that. It appears she just
disappeared. Ava also learned from her mother, that according to Lillian, Carter
went overseas to collect antique books to send back to the store. However, I
have come across no record of him leaving the country after his return from
serving in active duty.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Is it possible they had trouble in
their marriage and Carter left my grandmother?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“And traveling overseas is an elaborate
cover up?” Todd considered this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I shrugged. To me it’s possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I don’t know. In the Reticence Unlocked
records, Carter’s name is on some–”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">At that, I turned around, folding my
arms into themselves. “What files at Reticence Unlocked? Ava said you returned
here after seeing I was ok.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Todd’s facial expression was apologetic,
a weird juxtaposition to the resolve in his posture. He was still sitting,
holding his ground. I know exactly what this says: I am sorry for not telling
you, but what I did was right and beneficial; therefore, I am not sorry for my
actions. “After our first trip to the bookstore, I went back and talked to the
owners.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I nodded, feeling embarrassed, as I
recalled my memory play out. Todd dipped his head with a sigh, “I explained
what was going on and they were more than helpful in sharing the back files.
They discussed some oddities in the receipts for a few of the antique books
that were sold. They even found some interesting equipment in the restoration
room.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As I thought about this, it made sense
now why they had been so willing to let me tool around. “Thank you,” I
whispered. Todd just looked at me quizzically. Was he expecting me to be mad?
“You opened the door, so to speak, for me to get back into that building and
see the apartment. I wondered why they would just let me look around. I
have to admit that, while I do not always see or know everything in this
journey, God is certainly orchestrating this scavenger hunt of sorts. I may not
understand His ways, but He is answering my prayers.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Todd stood at that moment. He was before
me wrapping his arms around my shoulders, before I even knew he had taken one step. I crumpled into him as tears crept
down my face: tears of thanksgiving. Our foreheads touched, our breaths heavy. We stood like this for a time I can not discern. After a quiet moment of just being held, he placed one
hand around my waist, the other around my neck. As my heart fluttered, I placed
one hand around his waist, the other took residence upon his bicep. Silence
endured.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">This moment led to a profound kiss…not a
sexual kiss, but an interlacing of Ivy and Todd, bringing to mind two becomes one...and I finally understand what that means: the coming together not of body,
but of mind and spirit. A binding so intense, one doesn’t feel complete without
the other. Our lips touched, soft, but firm. We stood still, feeling ourselves
drift into the other. In this moment, I came to believe in the concept of what Eternal Present could be: joy and peace and hope, time nonexistent. There was warmth enveloping
my very soul, chills of the good kind tickling up my spine, then down my limbs. I
felt the hand of God on my heart, whispering His truth about the meaning of
this man in my life: Todd was the man God had chosen for
me. I no longer feared what would become of us after this mystery was solved </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">–</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> God answered that question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Our moment was shattered by Stella’s
call up the stairs, informing that dinner is ready. Hesitantly, we separate ourselves,
each taking a step back, but never letting go. Holding hands, we climbed back
to the others, secret smiles upon our lips. I felt lighter than I had in days.
Confirmation that all things will work out: I have God. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">During dinner, we talk nothing of the
mystery that surrounds my history, instead choosing laughter and sharing
stories of a different kind. We are all happy, filling our stomachs and our
spirits with food and silliness: fellowship. Upon completion of ingestion, we
work together cleaning up. I looked at the clock, surprised to find it is well after midnight. Clearly, I am not the only one to notice, as Ava asks Todd to
take her home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">After seeing them off, I hug Stella,
thankful for her support. I excused myself, opting for a shower prior to laying my head
down for some much needed rest. Feeling refreshed, I entered the bedroom, startled to find Stella waiting for me, sitting cross legged with a book in hand at the foot of the bed. I fully expected her to be curled up under the covers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Towel drying my hair, I ask, “Hey,
everything alright?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">She was slow to answer, smiling as she
took me in. “I was going to ask how you were holding up, but I’d say you are
just fine.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I looked at her with mock incredulity,
as if saying, What, me? But I know she knows. There is no hiding this stuff
from Stella. She is my best friend after all. So eager to spill all the details
(not really all of the details, but enough to satisfy her, and not so much I betray
what is mine), I giggled, jumping on the bed and grabbing her around the
shoulders, knocking her down. We erupted into laughter. What a wonderful sensation!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I interrupted a moment when I called
for dinner, didn’t I?” I was decent enough to look sheepish as she continued, “You
were both looking like two high schoolers that got caught making out behind the
bleachers at the football game.” Her smile wide, she winked. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">“We did not!" I exclaimed, tossing a pillow at her; which she artfully caught. "And we did not make out...we
kissed.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">And I told her how I had found </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">the</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">
one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">And Stella respected my need to keep what was sacred, secret. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;"><b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;"><a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-secrets-held-within-chapter-25.html#more" target="_blank"><b>Chapter 25 here</b></a></span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-52460834977797097372013-11-08T12:13:00.001-05:002013-11-08T12:14:44.504-05:00My Prayer For Today...<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Lord, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I ask you to forgive me for wanting things not meant for me. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Please cleanse my heart and fill me up with Your will. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In Jesus Christ's name, Amen. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgNBr2wGHKddPmJw8GLHzg5HIvimr4AwG8O-sX78zFIwfdHKDxgKOyIGQTLUSBhs7lWZVqLCkn3VvKU2USENdx3hwE0P75rFS_-P91m010M9LxyoetJTIMPFsMHKTPDrbcIBSI7nbe8c/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-17+041.1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgNBr2wGHKddPmJw8GLHzg5HIvimr4AwG8O-sX78zFIwfdHKDxgKOyIGQTLUSBhs7lWZVqLCkn3VvKU2USENdx3hwE0P75rFS_-P91m010M9LxyoetJTIMPFsMHKTPDrbcIBSI7nbe8c/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-17+041.1.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outerbanks NC<br />Photo taken by Paisley Sept. 17, 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have had a full week, leaving me feeling a bit depleted. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is of the good kind. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am spent from the Lord's use of me, and I love it. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Today is a day for recuperation, of the divine kind. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This led me to pray the prayer above. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God revealed my need to pray for something I hadn't realized I needed to pray about. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And to Him, I am immensely grateful. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Praise be to God!</span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-22998044498780557422013-11-05T11:21:00.000-05:002013-11-11T12:45:23.243-05:00The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 23<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Chapter
23, The Return To Friends</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sitting before me were three curious
faces. From left to right: Todd, Stella, Ava. What did I have to share? I
didn’t know how to process what I had learned, let alone communicate it. So, I
did what I have come used to doing these past couple of days. I leaned on God’s
strength. I took a deep breath, about to explain myself, and my apparent
disregard for the others in this room, shown by my departure, when Ava pierced
the air with her words, running them together, seemingly afraid of my reaction
to her starting. What she is unaware of, the time God has just gifted me
with in sorting through my own scraps of information.<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“I’m sorry. I see you are fine. Todd
followed you when you left, returning when he saw that you were talking to the
owners of Reticence Unlocked. Figuring you needed to do that alone, he returned
and the three of us figured out a plan of gathering information. I must say, I
can’t keep it in anymore.” Then she took a deep breath looking at me
expectantly, as if awaiting my approval. She was sitting in an arm chair under
the window, hands in her lap with fidgety fingers. Her knees were closed,
though they bounced, peeking out from under a flowing purple skirt. I looked up
to her face, noting the deep blue sweater that brought the plum out of the
skirt in a striking way, her eyes wide, pools of insight within. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Shoot.” I was more than happy to have
the focus off of me, for a change. Plus, there is the potential that what they
have collectively found might help me sort through my recent experiences. <i>Lord, please give me continued strength in
absorbing all I am meant to learn. Help guide my understanding of all of the
pieces about to come together. Amen.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i></i></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">She sent a furtive glance to her right –
Todd. He was sitting on the edge of the couch; feet planted firmly apart, knees
supporting his elbows. His shoulders were tense, and he too was fiddling with
his hands. Shifting my gaze between the two of them, overlooking Stella in the
middle on the coffee table, I realize that I am about to get pummeled with
facts, and that they are concerned with how I may react. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Interesting…though, I must say my heart
expands in warmth at their love for me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“I hope you don’t mind…but I went to my
mom,” she cringed, and then relaxed when she saw I wasn’t going to respond
negatively, and continued, “She recalled Lillian taking in a boarder after
Rosemarie went to college–”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Did she remember her name?” I
interrupted. Really? That was rude of me. “I’m sorry, continue.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Actually, she doesn’t, though she
believes it began with a B. She did say that she had red hair and wore purple
glasses, residing at the apartment above the store.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“It seems odd she would remember her
hair and glasses but not her name.” I questioned. Again, rude! I looked at Ava
apologetically. She waved it off. Clearly she is not bothered by my outbursts.
Though, my thoughts immediately went to the vision I had of the woman with red
hair and purple glasses from the hidden cabin. Peculiar…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Well, that’s what I said, and Mom said
that it was hard to forget because the colors were so striking. Anyhow, I guess
the boarder also worked at Reticence Unlocked, filling in for Rosemarie in her
absence.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“I looked up Reticence Unlocked employee
records for that time period, along with the utilities for that apartment,”
Todd cut in. “Unfortunately, the utilities remained in Lillian’s name, and
there is no one on the books for employment during the years your mother was in
college. I am wondering if part of the rental agreement was work for room and
board.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“That’s feasible…” My head was swimming.
“When I had left the bookstore, I ended up at this cabin hidden in the woods.
It is old and severely dilapidated, but on my trek through the woods, I had
images of what I am assuming are memories. I was holding the hand of a man that
I believe to be my father, and when we approached the door to the cabin, a
woman with red hair and purple glasses opened it. I was afraid of her, not
recognizing who she was, and wondering why she was in our cabin…I wonder if it
is the same woman.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Could be…” It was apparent Todd had
more to say.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“I was just wondering: did you see his
face?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“My father’s?” He nodded. “No, I didn’t.
I saw his arm, the one that was holding my hand. I saw the back of his legs,
but I didn’t see his face or the color of his hair…” I hesitated. The letters,
do I share the letters yet?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Ivy, what is it?” He leaned forward,
reaching out to move the strand of hair that had covered my face, tracing the
line of my jaw until I looked at him. His eyes exuded affection. I felt him
bore into my being searching for what was causing me turmoil. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“I…” I realized in that moment that I
wanted to be alone with Todd. As much as Stella was my best friend, right now,
I needed Todd. Reading the need in me, he turned his attention to the other two
women in the room. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“You know what; it’s been a grueling day
for all of us. Am I correct in saying, none of us have had a decent thing to
eat since this morning?” Everyone nodded, relief settling in at the thought of
food, and a break. “Alright, Stella and Ava, do you mind preparing a meal while
Ivy and I go upstairs? I want to show her something.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Stella was already up on her feet
heading to the kitchen. “I’m sure you do,” she said with a wink, as Ava said,
“On it!” following close behind her. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Todd led me up the stairs to the locked
room. Once we were inside, he closed the door. I moved passed him into the
lavender room, the bookshelves still open. I plopped down in one of the arm
chairs, Todd choosing to occupy the other. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We sat in silence for a time, Todd
patient in my collecting of thoughts and emotions. Tears ran down my eyes, I
made no effort to wipe them away. Todd’s fingers threaded mine, warmth spread
up my arm to my heart. I closed my eyes, sinking into the cushions. So much of
me melted into the upholstery. I became liquid…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And before I knew it, I was rambling,
talking as if in a speed race, afraid of running out of time before finishing.
I don’t remember feeling emotions, just words expelling from my mouth. What I
did notice: I kept the details of my grandmother and the necklace, only sharing
memories and the content of the letters.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Wow.” Yep…way to sum it up Todd; <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Not that I could blame him. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What was there to say? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Chet, his name is Chet.”</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ </b></span></span><b style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-secrets-held-within-chapter-24.html" target="_blank"><b>Chapter 24 :)</b></a></span></span></div>
</div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-88163726809253404372013-11-05T10:48:00.000-05:002013-11-05T11:29:14.379-05:00"God Called The Expanse 'Sky.'"<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK2Xry2IfrSl99Dom-juxNUtVxZL6MrRQekr-welfFeEieMbjlpjJB3q1zG2soGznf7CeMap0uwh4ZonSj9iQd6ikIjQj1VIaW9slRht69OV04H0LT7DVM-BGHxEvRo_NweAmvkVXXu1w/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-20+030.2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK2Xry2IfrSl99Dom-juxNUtVxZL6MrRQekr-welfFeEieMbjlpjJB3q1zG2soGznf7CeMap0uwh4ZonSj9iQd6ikIjQj1VIaW9slRht69OV04H0LT7DVM-BGHxEvRo_NweAmvkVXXu1w/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-20+030.2.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outerbanks, NC.<br />
Picture taken by Paisley Sept. 20th, 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Genesis 1:8-10</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">8</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> God called the expanse "sky."And there was evening, and there was morning -- the second day.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">9</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">10</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw it was good. </span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-82839296176631323422013-10-23T10:00:00.000-04:002013-10-23T10:01:25.445-04:00"He Alone..."<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXknqzmM11kFvdGEt4SGdgv190k98Vqhqr0wMzNWgNRuesMIeGEpQ3GF1AZRr4uxSRlKizBpDP2cHwFN0CzAG6OYHyxcyY7om9BvPllsqLy5KY8x61IArjo6zGLynf41rhun9onSJzYo/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-20+0042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXknqzmM11kFvdGEt4SGdgv190k98Vqhqr0wMzNWgNRuesMIeGEpQ3GF1AZRr4uxSRlKizBpDP2cHwFN0CzAG6OYHyxcyY7om9BvPllsqLy5KY8x61IArjo6zGLynf41rhun9onSJzYo/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-20+0042.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outerbanks, NC.<br />Picture taken by Paisley Sept. 20th, 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Job 9:8</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">He alone stretches out the heavens </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">and treads on the waves of the sea. </span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-36219194701206999982013-10-21T10:34:00.000-04:002013-10-22T11:21:19.215-04:00"You Rule Over The Surging Sea..."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4N5PHcuq3M4-IVxF30_gR1MZBdQQEdBLxhNxHMC4bVpD5PcT-4piavynhzmSytPqc76hveNHOoFUvZ-Y0PVihAHyhHJ5xDCEvl-3MimxMt1YuB_ETUPTDAM8yFr5cAQXXrxQdtj7olz0/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-17+0222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4N5PHcuq3M4-IVxF30_gR1MZBdQQEdBLxhNxHMC4bVpD5PcT-4piavynhzmSytPqc76hveNHOoFUvZ-Y0PVihAHyhHJ5xDCEvl-3MimxMt1YuB_ETUPTDAM8yFr5cAQXXrxQdtj7olz0/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-17+0222.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outerbanks, NC<br />
Taken by Paisley Sept 17th, 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Psalm 89:8-9</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">8</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">9</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">You rule over the surging sea; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">when its waves mount up, you still them.</span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-91727790165066369812013-10-18T10:26:00.002-04:002013-10-18T15:27:13.519-04:00"His Splendor Was Like The Sunrise..."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1tZEoi1G6UJf3BDxAs8rpzGBRyyDqrkOonzMgvdx5EUlFTRknaq1j5CCDgd9Tf4Co9Uvlhgmd6AXHprMJV9AE-jtbrWYI6hI1Es8kbx193d67tFp_5gK1TSMWwwtag_9Vs7To7sfPi8/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-18+003The+paisley+butterfly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg1tZEoi1G6UJf3BDxAs8rpzGBRyyDqrkOonzMgvdx5EUlFTRknaq1j5CCDgd9Tf4Co9Uvlhgmd6AXHprMJV9AE-jtbrWYI6hI1Es8kbx193d67tFp_5gK1TSMWwwtag_9Vs7To7sfPi8/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-18+003The+paisley+butterfly.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favorite pictures taken in the Outerbanks, NC<br />
Taken by Paisley Sept 18th, 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">Habakkuk 3:4</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">His splendor was like the sunrise; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">rays flashed from his hand, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">where his power was hidden. </span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-28083813699588027442013-10-06T09:40:00.000-04:002013-10-18T10:31:12.272-04:00Doors Closing = Time For Prayer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Good Morning!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYrV6KONX9oY201FZ3YL6UcOsOnQpE4bCsiVhIN-DVftrPxTVgjCRj7qxuWwheAb5mzWdsgXRQytsHdHALxVIPotDl0fhyfEC1NgHJRQDru5sVOtsWwThaNlPknu3rzXqvIPmbpOL8T_E/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-16+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYrV6KONX9oY201FZ3YL6UcOsOnQpE4bCsiVhIN-DVftrPxTVgjCRj7qxuWwheAb5mzWdsgXRQytsHdHALxVIPotDl0fhyfEC1NgHJRQDru5sVOtsWwThaNlPknu3rzXqvIPmbpOL8T_E/s1600/Outerbanks+2013-09-16+009.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">First sunrise in Outerbanks, NC<br />Taken by Paisley Sept 16th 2013</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Life has been full this past month.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My gift to the Outerbanks was a blessing I will cherish for my entire life. The spiritual revelations God bestowed upon me during my time ocean side is still evolving within my heart. And, much has transpired since my return. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>First: </b>I didn't realize how much my time at the ocean would feel draining once home. The drive was twelve hours each way, I walked about ten miles on the beach during those five days, and I spent a lot of time gaining understanding of spiritual rest with God. Not to mention, my heart longed for my husband and child. I had never been away from them for as long as I was during this trip. It was hard to be apart from them and yet it was necessary for all of us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I spent my first week back recuperating. I honestly believed I would be jumping right back into posting and sharing. I still kept myself in the bible upon my return, God furthering His work from the prior week. I played catch up with The Rustic Knight and Kit -- I got a hug from Kit that laid me flat out on the floor, him jumping on me from the couch, he was so excited. We vegged. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">On my third day back to work, I learned that the restaurant was closing it's doors the middle of this month. It was sudden for everyone, including the owners, and not of their choosing. There is an outpouring of support from the community, everyone getting their fix of our restaurant before the doors close for the last time. Due to this, I am going to be working nine days in a row. This is wonderful because it means a paycheck. It is also hard, because we are so busy that we are all going in for extra hours...<i>because</i> we are that busy. It takes a toll...but it is worth it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When I was blessed with this job, I knew in my heart that my time at this restaurant was linked to the amount of time this business was in the current owners hands. I just had no idea that it would be this soon or in this way. As far as my husband and I are concerned, we are going to be just fine. We are not feeling those previous fears, worries, or desperations. We are not destitute. We have complete faith in God's plan for us and know that we are more than capable of making it through this time. God will provide. He has already shown this to us in the past. We have nothing to fear. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel as though I am being put through a spiritual seminar with God. All of the understanding He has placed upon me throughout my life is currently being thrown into overdrive. Deeper understanding, deeper love. It is all so intense. God is working in me for His purposes and I am excited at what He has planned. How will He use me? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am experiencing a sense of peace -- no, that's not right. It's not a <i>sense</i> of peace, but Peace itself. God is so present with me, I trust Him fully, that I have entered into His peace. He is closing doors. But, He is about to open some, too. I cannot wait (though I will :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>With this all said, I feel I need to apologize to you. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Apologizing for putting out an expectation and then not following through.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I honestly had every intention to get back to my Prayer Study. If you have been waiting for it, I am sorry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What I have learned is that I place expectations on myself when it comes to this site. When I do that, I can't hear God. I get worked up over things I shouldn't be spending my time on. I have picked up my Prayer Study to find I don't have it in my heart to do it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And this is why:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am being called to pray. Pray often and intensely. I am being called into Spiritual Rest with God (there will be a post on this at some point). I am being called to read the bible. For this, I believe the act of doing the Prayer Study takes away from the work God needs me to do now. That does not mean I have forsaken the Prayer Study; it just means I do not know when God will call me to pick it back up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I love each and every one of you. I appreciate you and your commitment to coming back to this site. I also appreciate your understanding that life does not always go as planned. And I think it's better that way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dear Lord, I ask you to hold our hearts in Your hands, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">softening them up so we may feel Your love. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Help us to hear Your call and to obey Your call. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">May we share You with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and help us to lead those that have yet to meet Jesus to You. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In Jesus Christ's name, Amen. </span></div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-74300025361116405162013-09-28T10:50:00.000-04:002013-11-05T11:26:51.364-05:00The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 22<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Chapter
22, The Meadow</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have no idea what time it is, the sky darkish.
<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am walking slowly, but with urgency;
my stride a mind of its own. I am feeling guilty about having left Ivy, Ava,
and Todd without word. I realize I do not have my cell phone. I pray that they
do not worry. It occurs to me that I should also ask for guidance. And I do.
The emotion in me swells, words escape me. In this moment, I feel but cannot
think. I pray with my heart, trusting God to know what I am saying and choosing
to believe that He will lead me where I am to go. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I brought the locket and letters with
me, having placed them in my over-the-shoulder tote. The key must lead to
something of worth. Why else would my grandmother show me where it was? I have
given up trying to figure out exactly what that exchange was between us. A gift
from God, enough said. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The last time I visited her she didn’t
recognize me. I tried not to take it personally, remembering it’s the dementia.
The disease has crippled her for years...though right now I wish we could talk
about all that has emerged during this vacation. Maybe talking about it will
spark a memory for her and she will be able to fill in any remaining gaps. I
wonder if she was aware of the letters from my father to my mother… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And thinking of the letters, how could I
not want to get to know my father better? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Images flicker in my mind’s eye, hazy
about the periphery. Glamour shot comes to mind, the picture soft, bright;
Reality sharp, cold. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Reality: the air is crisp, leaves crunch
beneath my steps. The canopy of swishing green is so dense, I am unable to
discern if there is a moon tonight. Somehow, I know the path. I am hoping I am
following the correct trail back to the cabin. I begin to shiver, nervous about
where I am. I have no idea how far I’ve walked, or how long I haven’t been
aware of my movements. I can no longer make out the footpath I had been
following. I don’t feel like I have been here before and yet something feels
right about this place. All of my senses are heightened, noticing every sound.
The crunch of my feet, the swooshing as the wind ruffles the leaves, the howl
in the background. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The response to the howl was closer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Coyotes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Is it late enough for coyotes to be out?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My heart picked up tempo, my blood loud
in my ears. The wind continues to whip my face, my cheeks and nose raw. I have
tucked my hands under my arms, wishing for a sweater. Why had I not been
thinking? Oh, that’s right, I don’t remember. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Glamour
Shot: I am about four. I see the back of my head, covered in glowing blondish
hair. I am holding the hand of a man wearing a brown shirt, but that’s all I
see of him. I am skipping in the tall grass, reaching beyond my head. Yellow
butterflies frolic among the flowers, as if dancing to their own song: A melody
of nature the only music. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I
am giggling, immersed in joy. I catch sight of the blue ruffled apron sleeves,
covering a pink top. Light permeates the vision. We walk through an opening in
the trees, greeted by sunshine. The man in the brown shirt picks me up, placing
me on his shoulders. I can see…Purple lilies, white pansies, yellow
tulips…crisp air, glistening sun, birds in song…laughter, skipping, holding
hands…<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A
beautiful meadow, stippled with colorful flowers, waving in the wind as if in
greeting. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Meadow: as in my dream with Todd.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I actually jerked out of that vision. I
found myself standing at the edge of the woods, looking into a meadow. The sun is
so bright I raised my arm above my eyes, blocking the sun – so much for looking
for the moon. It hung in the western sky in that place that seemed a cruel
joke: directly eye level, hovering at the tree tops. I guess the time to be
around six, wondering at my increasing inability to keep time. It amazes me how
one can get so lost within their mind that times ceases to exist. I squint in
an effort to make out what is beyond the meadow, choosing to ignore the blanket
of color swaying and shimmering with the wind. Now is no time to think of Todd…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But I do miss him. In fact, I wish he
were here with me right now. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And yet, I know that he is not meant to
be here, that I am to do this part on my own. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There is a cabin on the opposite side of
the meadow, slightly off to the right, hiding in the shadows of the tree line
behind it. Even at a distance it looks forlorn. I feel something within break.
A longing awakened within my heart, so deep was the pain. My knees weakened
under the weight of it. A soft breeze lifts my hair and caresses my cheek,
revealing a tear near my chin I hadn’t noticed escaped.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 200%;">“Come
to me…and I will give you rest,”</span></i><span style="line-height: 200%;"> a whisper to my soul.
These words resonated true and familiar, a love poem to my heart. I know this
to be from God. My soul jumped in anticipation forcing my breath to catch. Once
again, without thought of my own, my feet moved, propelled by a being greater
than me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Laughter
filled my ears, warmth spread through my center. We were home! <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The
door to the cabin opened, a woman with red hair waiting on the other side of
the threshold. Her stance was tense, complete with a scowl on her face, clearly
evident behind purple glasses. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“You’re
late.” Her words were ice. I became scared, moving behind the leg of the man in
the brown shirt. I buried my face in his pant leg, daring to peak one eye out
to see this strange woman. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I
tug on his hand, he lowers his head. I whisper, “Who is that, Daddy? Why is she
in our house?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A
reaffirming squeeze of the hand and a wink later, he rose to his full height
and met the red haired woman’s gaze. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“You
have forgotten who you are right now,” Calm was his answer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“What?”
She asked incredulously as her hand brushed the red at her shoulder. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<i><span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In
a moment the expressions to cross the woman’s face were abundant, though
fleeting; Horrified, the last emotion. Then, as if she remembered herself, she
shut the door. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was before the cabin door shrouded in
shadows. I reached for the knob, fingers teasing. Electricity hummed beneath my
touch, a secret to be revealed. The door creaked when opened. Upon stepping
into the room, I shivered. The cold an affront to my body, though I presume
it’s the eerie feel to the room that is creeping into my skin. Considering I
was cold prior to entering this cabin, ‘eerie’ had to be what brought about this
chill. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The cabin is one room, dark and dingy. I
take a deep breath, only to choke on dust. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .3in;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">I have no idea where to start.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;">~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ </span><span style="line-height: 48px; text-indent: 0.3in;">~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large; line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.3in;"><a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-secrets-held-within-chapter-23.html" target="_blank"><b>Chapter 23</b></a></span></div>
</div>
The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-75989841488980405082013-09-09T14:44:00.001-04:002013-09-11T14:08:35.779-04:00"...I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses."<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">2 Corinthians 11:30-31</span></u></b><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">30</span> <span style="font-size: large;">If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">31</span> <span style="font-size: large;">The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying.</span><br />
<div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Here, I, The Paisley Butterfly, have come to boast:</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I AM <b>WEAK.</b> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I have come to see a place where </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I have not invited God... </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Stage:</span> </b>The Rustic Knight and I recently got new neighbors. We share a drive way. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">They are open and outgoing and friendly...and talkative. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We are private. We are loners. We keep to ourselves...at first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: start;">We are on top of each other (in my mind).</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The Rustic Knight and I are slow to friendships. We take our time, feeling each other out, sharing bits here and there -- over time. We value our family time. We give so much at work, when we are out and about, that when we get home, we just want to decompress...alone. We look forward to our homestead, where we will be surrounded by nature and land that is ours...in the middle of no where; where we can choose when to visit with neighbors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Problem (?):</span></b> For the first five months we have lived here, the house next door was vacant. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Our neighbors catch us in conversation every time we are coming or going...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel forced to entertain them, and/or explain where we are going -- I don't want them to know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I sit on my screened porch with a book for some alone time outside...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">they see me and talk to me, disrupting me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are issues with sharing the driveway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Their kids try to invite themselves over. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are details I will not share...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Weakness #1:</b> </span>I get paranoid...I am afraid of getting too close to people. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Better said, I fear sharing myself with people: face to face. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I fear mistakes, saying something wrong or stupid, doing something wrong or stupid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My personal space extends far beyond my physical self.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The new neighbors feel invasive to me, bringing out my paranoid side -- which I had made strides with since working at the restaurant. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I cherish my time alone, my time with my son, my time with my husband. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I need my time to reconnect with God after giving so much of myself at work, </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">to my family and friends, and this blog. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have worked hard at inviting God in before/during my shifts at work, believing in His ability to correct my attitude and moods in an instant; </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">bringing Him in to write the articles I post, carrying the story line of my fictional stories, editing as needed, pushing me to share what I don't want to; </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">asking Him to parent my children, manage my marriage, and flourish the few relationships I do have...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am even aware that if it weren't for my relationship with God, I may have a severe issue with a fear of people, becoming a recluse with a true paranoid outlook on my life. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Weakness #2:</span></b><b style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"> </b><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I chose to fill myself up with frustration, fear, and entitlement. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have been choosing to focusing my thoughts and energy on how I don't want neighbors. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don't want to feel obligated to be someone I'm not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am worried about how I look to them, but don't want to adjust myself within my comfort zone. I have become consumed by the annoyance and disruption this has created in my life. I have become closed off, unforgiving, and negative.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Weakness #3: </span></b><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have made it all about ME. Not GOD. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Revelations:</span> </b>These came through my conversation with my sister. She helped me realize that I had yet to pray about this actual situation. That I have not thought about what God wants here. Which led me to scripture: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><u>2 Corinthians 12:1-10 (vs 5 bold mine)</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">1</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">2</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know -- God knows.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">3</span> <span style="font-size: large;">And I know that this man -- whether in the body or apart from the body, I do not know, but God knows -- </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">4</span> <span style="font-size: large;">was caught up to paradise. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">5</span><span style="font-size: large;"> I will boast about a man like that, but <b>I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.</b></span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">6</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">7</span> <span style="font-size: large;">To keep me from becoming conceited because </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">of<span style="font-family: inherit;"> these surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a </span>thorn<span style="font-family: inherit;"> in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to </span>torment</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"> me.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">8</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">9</span> <span style="font-size: large;">But he said to me,<span style="color: #cc0000;"> "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."</span> Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">10</span> <span style="font-size: large;">That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">persecutions<span style="font-family: inherit;"> in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><u>Bible Notes vs. 2:</u></b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> "Paul continued his 'boasting' by telling about visions and revelations he had received from the Lord. 'I know a man in Christ' means that he was speaking about himself...'"</span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Bible Notes vs. 7:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> "We don't know what Paul's thorn in the flesh was, because he doesn't tell us... This thorn was a hindrance to his ministry, and he prayed for its removal; but God refused..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>My 1st Revelation:</b></span> My thorn is my paranoia, the fear that I will get too close to someone. The fear of sharing myself in such a present and daily way in moments I think I just want to be left alone. Fear is the messenger from Satan to me. It started as an inconvenience, then became frustration, where it finally grew to me being afraid to come and go from my house for fear of running into them. How subtle the enemy can be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Bible Notes vs. 8:</span></u> </b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Three times Paul prayed fro healing and did not receive it.He received, however, things far greater because he received greater grace from God, a stronger character, humility, and an ability to empathize with others. In addition, it benefited those around him as they saw God at work in his life. God, according to [H]is sovereign plan, doesn't heal some believers of their physical ailments. We don't know why some are spared and others aren't. God chooses according to [H]is divine purposes. Our task is to pray, to believe, and to trust. Paul is living proof that holy living and courageous faith do not ensure instant physical healing. When we pray for healing, we must trust our bodies to God's care. We must recognize that nothing separates us from [H]is love (Romans 8:35-39) and that our spiritual condition is always more important than our physical condition."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>My 2nd Revelation:</b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> I have prayed for what I perceived to be the problem, to just go away. While talking to my sister, I divulged how bothered I was by all of this and that I was having a hard time getting out of my head. She told me that for all I know, God allowed them there to help me in breaking my 'need' to be alone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This got me thinking about my time in <a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/04/seeking-silence-and-solitude.html" target="_blank">Solitude</a>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">While there is a time to be alone, there is a time to be in fellowship. Which my sister, sometimes wiser than I'd like, pointed out that God may need me to get past this discomfort for the sake of ministering. If I believe this is God's plan for me, why would it stop with my blog, or with my job.</span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Well, geesh Sis, wish I could have thought of that first! </i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But this just shows that no matter how vigilant we are at seeking God at every turn, believing that we are doing all we can, we are still going to miss it somewhere. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My prayers were in vain. I was praying in a manner to alleviate my ailment as it suits me: <i>Go away and leave me alone!</i> How I should have been praying is:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Dear Heavenly Father, I call upon you to lift me up in Your name. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>May You be glorified in all I do. I ask You to bless this new relationship, guiding it as You see fit. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>May I see Your course for me with these children of Yours and not stray. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Help me set my fears aside so I may walk Your path. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>May the enemy have no place in this course. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>I ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>who, through my weakness, strengthens me in all I do. Amen. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Bible Notes vs. 9:</span></u> </b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Although God did not remove Paul's physical affliction, [H]e promised to demonstrate </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">[H]i</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">s power in Paul. The fact that God's power is displayed in weak people should give us courage. Though we recognize our limitations, we will not congratulate ourselves and rest at that. Instead, we will turn to God to seek pathways for effectiveness. We must rely on God for our effectiveness rather than simply on our own energy, effort, or talent. Our weakness not only helps develop Christian character; it also deepens our worship, because in admitting our weakness, we affirm God's strength." </span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Bible Notes vs. 10:</span></u></b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> "When we are strong in abilities or resources, we are tempted to do God's work on our own, and that can lead to pride. When we are weak, allowing God to fill us with </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>[H]i</i></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>s</i> power, then we are stronger than we could ever be on our own. God does not intend for us to seek to be weak, passive, or ineffective -- life provides enough hindrances and set backs without us creating them. When those obstacles come, we must depend on God. Only </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">[H]</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">is power will make us effective for </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">[H]i</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">m and will help us do work that has lasting value." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>My 3rd Revelation:</b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">God hasn't answered my prayer either...not as I was praying. These neighbors are not going anywhere, at least not soon. And we are not staying here forever...this is <a href="http://thepaisleybutterfly.blogspot.com/2013/03/everything-is-temporary.html" target="_blank">Temporary</a>! I must remember this. Not to mention, only God knows the benefits for all parties involved in the coming together of neighbors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>What if the neighbors being there has absolutely nothing to do with me? What if there is something God wants for them and has chosen to use me to do it?</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">By allowing fear into my heart, I limited the effectiveness of God in me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I filled myself up with something unholy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There was no room for God in my frustration and fear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I kicked Him out by taking on the negative feelings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am no use to God this way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I must expose my weakness to God (<i>Lord, I cannot handle the neighbors by myself and am not sure how to be</i>) in order for Him to work through me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I need His strength to get past myself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If I believe in my prayers for other's to see God in me, Christ in me, then why would I be so quick to close a door to neighbors that hasn't been completely opened yet? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What example am I showing of someone living in Christ, if I am shutting Christ out in a moment of need? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I should see this as an opportunity to share Jesus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I should welcome the gift of neighbors around our age with children around Kit's age. The benefits to come from this relationship are abundant! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><u>1 Peter 4:10-12</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">10</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.</span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">11</span> <span style="font-size: large;">If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Suffering for being a Christian. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">12</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Bible: </span><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life Application Study Bible, New International Version</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">~ <a href="http://zandervanbibles.com/">Zandervanbibles.com</a>.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why I like this bible: There are extensive notes on the verses. Each page has more notes:bible verse ratio. </span></div>
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The Paisley Butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03158336855459343672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2006697577012533958.post-41837023106490257502013-09-05T11:28:00.001-04:002013-09-05T11:31:07.160-04:00Prayer Misconceptions, Part 4<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Misconception #4:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Prayer is to pry riches out of God's reluctant hands. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I am going to print the direct excerpt from the prayer study’s breakdown of this misconception. The author words this so well:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“Some pray as if prayer is the means of cajoling God into releasing His carefully hoarded riches. Someone has said, ‘Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance, but laying hold of God’s willingness.’ God offers us His resources. He invites us to take His gifts. He does not have to be convincing to let go of His blessings. His Word says that He lavishes on us the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7-8) and that He lavishes His love on us (1 John 3:1). He is extravagant in His gifts. He pours them out. Scripture never uses language that would portray God as stingy or hesitant to give. Instead we read that He ‘richly blesses all who call on him’ (Romans 10:12).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">“When we pray this way, we expend spiritual energy needlessly trying to convince God of something He already knows. Giving you every good thing gives Him joy; it delights Him. Jesus assures us with these words: ‘Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom’ (Luke 12:32). His heart is set on you to do you good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>My thoughts: </b></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">God created us to share His love with us, so we may in turn, turn around and share His love with Him. It brings Him great joy to see His children full of joy! All we have to do is trust in Him, hope in Him, have faith in Him, love Him. He wants us to choose Him. That is it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">God has done all the work for us! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We don’t need to beg for what we need, or pry what we need from Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We don’t need to remind Him, or hold Him to His promises. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He sacrificed Himself, through His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">for the pure truth of bringing us to Him! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So that He may give us everything we need! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ll we have to do is choose to accept His gifts; </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">to receive His unending love and the fulfillment of His promises. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">************************************************************************************************************************************</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For credit purposes, the Prayer Study I am using is: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Live A Praying Life, New and Revised Anniversary Addition</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Jennifer Kennedy Dean ~ <a href="http://www.prayinglife.org/">www.prayinglife.org</a> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is not an endorsement. This just happens to be the prayer study I am using, and I have decided to share my study experience, here on <b>The Paisley Butterfly</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">My Bible: </span><b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life Application Study Bible, New International Version</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">~ <a href="http://zandervanbibles.com/">Zandervanbibles.com</a>.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why I like this bible: There are extensive notes on the verses. Each page has more notes:bible verse ratio. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Here is a link to an <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/" target="_blank">online bible</a> -- there are other online bibles out there, this one just happens to be the one I use most. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Again, listing my bible references is not for the purpose of endorsement, but an effort to appropriate credit to materials used.</span></div>
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