Why I Haven't Posted in Almost a Year...

Philippians 4:10-13

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 

I have not forgotten about this site, nor have I forgotten the few that are led here. However, due to the nature of my health, I am not in any position to post anything for a year, or longer.

I have been dealing with multiple medical issues for over a decade now, though the past two years have become increasingly debilitating for me, to the point of being a burden of sorts for my husband and child, forcing me to begin sharing with our families all I have been dealing with secretly. 

My medical situation is so specialized and complex, that the treatment plan to get my body to a full functioning place is quite lengthy. There is no definite in when I will be completely healed and beyond this leg in the journey of my life.

I trust God and His timing, understanding that I am finally with the specialists I need to get me back to proper health. I appreciate those who have been patient with this website.

Once He calls upon me to share details on what I have been dealing with, I will share as He sees fit.

No matter the situation, I praise God, thanking Him for every day; for whether things are good or bad, with God, there is peace and joy, remembering to focus on Jesus.

With love and appreciation, Paisley

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

John 14:15-31
15 "If you love me, obey my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. 17 He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn't looking for him and doesn't recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. 17 No, I will not abandon you as orphans -- I will come to you. 19 Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. 20 When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them."

By obeying God the Father, through the relationship with God the Son, we begin doing the works of Jesus through God the Holy Spirit, that of which lives in us. The way Jesus is always with us is through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit acts as our Advocate, our Counselor. This is the way we receive God's Wisdom and Truth. The Holy Spirit acts as a compass of emotions, thoughts and actions. Through the Holy Spirit, received by the acceptance of Jesus Christ, our sins are revealed to us. This allows us to come before Jesus and ask for forgiveness of our sins by confessing. This cleans us before God the Father. When we enter into a relationship with Jesus, we come to know God -- the closer we are to Jesus, the closer we are to God. Through this closeness, obedience begins to take place, an act of love, but one must obey God's commands in order to be close to Him.

God has been working hard on revealing the Holy Spirit to me in new intimate and wonderful and truly AWESOME ways. The last few months, He has led me to the truth that the Holy Spirit prays the unutterable prayers in our hearts -- AS AN ADVOCATE FOR US. I have experienced this, having been made aware in an amazing 'AHA!' moment. I was in a very painful relationship for years, one that I felt stuck in.
I. Wanted. Out. 

Still Here...Still Working...

To start: I will be posting Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit by the end of this year.

When it comes to my spiritual posts, I strive to allow the time necessary for God to reveal to me, through the Holy Spirit, what He needs me to write. Part of this process involves the revealing of the truth within my own heart. I take my spiritual journey seriously--my relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life. Everything flows out from that core interaction between me and God.

This is also why I haven't been posting as frequently as I did the year of 2013. I have been on an incredibly, albeit all-consuming and overwhelming at times, spiritual journey. The things the Lord has revealed to me over the past few months have kept me in perpetual awe of His Lordship. Focusing on God, remembering to praise His Holiness has been wonderful! I have also come to accept, and respect, that I am meant to live the experiences that lend to the spiritual posts of this blog. Living in the Present, focusing on the Lord and studying the Bible. I need to come through to the other side, able to look back at the journey, in order to share the message and lessons as I come to understand them more fully.

Simply put, life must be lived.

Jesus is the Way to the FATHER

John 14:1-14
    1 "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. 2 There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. 4 And you know the way to where I am going."
    5 "No, we don't know, Lord," Thomas said. "We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
    6 Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. 7 If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!"
    8 Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied."
    9 Jesus replied, "Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and yet you still don't know who I am? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father! So why are you asking me to show him to you? 10 Don't you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I speak are not my own, but my Father who lives in me does his work through me. 11 Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of the work you have seen me do. 
    12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. 13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"

There is but ONE God: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. He is neither one, nor the other, but ALL at once. 

The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 26

Chapter 26, Coming Together

My memory is hazy following the reveal of my father: Chester Abbott: Ava’s father. We are half-sisters…

Everyone parted ways almost immediately after the reveal of this information, with Ava upset, though rightfully. Everything she thought she knew, changed in an instant. I am sure she has many questions. Todd took her home, having offered to return to be with me however I needed, but I politely declined. I need to sort through the plethora of information gathered over the past week, and the shock of the truth. It amazes me how Carter’s possible suicide note was put so far back in the closet with the onset of finding my birth certificate. Stella insisted on staying at a motel on the outskirts of town for the night to give me privacy. She is ever so thoughtful.

I am sitting under the pergola, cocooned within the fragrant garden. The sun is up. The bench is hard wood. I lean my hands on the edge of the seat, leaning forward. The only thing I seem to be able to focus on is my breath.

Spiritual Cocoon

I am very aware that I have been MIA the past couple of months. The simple reason for this is God has put me in a spiritual cocoon.

What does that mean? Good question.

I have been drawn far inside my heart to the secret place where God and I meet. He is doing some amazing work on my inner self -- Sins I am committing are brought to the very forefront of my being.

The main sin I am to conquer: Frustration.

I have allowed the emotion of Frustration rule many of my decisions. I didn't realize how often I allowed this feeling to coat my heart. I got to the point of embracing this Frustration. I am now at a point where I recognize Frustration in the moment it presents itself, leaving me to ask myself: Why? To what end is this feeling appropriate? What is the purpose of my inviting this Frustration into the house that is my heart?

The other sin I am being led to recognize: Guilt.

I have denied myself joy due to allowing Guilt to dictate my life. I have chosen over and over to let Guilt prevent present day experiences, resulting in personal punishment for choices I made in the past. You know what else? The decisions I have made based on Guilt have transferred this punishment to my family.

I am currently in the 'thick-of-things' with God. I am in awe of the investment He is putting in me, in our relationship. There is more to the restructuring of my spiritual self that I am unable to divulge, at this time. But, when the time is right I will be in a place to share my journey in reference to this spiritual cocoon, once on the other side.

So, for now, I continue to wait on God. I give Him permission to change my heart, my mind, and my spirit to align myself with His Heart and Mind and Spirit, bringing me closer to my God given identity.

Romans 12:1-2
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God -- this is our true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

I Miss the Color Green!

I also miss seeing a landscape without any snow :)
We have accumulated a foot of snow.
It is white.
And bright.
But not green.
Or warm.
In an effort to remind myself what it is like to not have snow, I have found myself participating in vicarious transportation.
By submersing myself in pictures of the past.
I am pulling up memories of being outside in shorts and tank tops, reveling in the warm sun caressing my being and salty air enveloping my senses.
Not stuck inside with cabin fever because it is too cold to do anything.
Oh, Spring, where art thou?
However, I will say, Winter certainly helps me to appreciate Spring!

Joel 2:21-23
21 Do not be afraid, land of Judah; be glad and rejoice. 
    Surely the Lord has done great things!
22 Do not be afraid, you wild animals, 
    for the pastures in the wilderness are becoming green. 
    The trees are bearing their fruit; 
    the fig tree and the vine yield their riches.
23 Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, 
    for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. 
    He sends you abundant showers, 
    both autumn and spring rains, as before. 

Batman Quilt = Success!

The Batman Quilt:) 

The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 25

Chapter 25 Facts and Finds

The next morning, I awake to a note from Stella taped to a full coffee pot. She’s out running. Coffee made, Stella out on a run, I choose to take my cup-o-Joe to the sun porch. A good sit sounded perfect this late morning. I need to set myself straight before I start a long day hunting down answers. As I pursue that secret place with God, it dawns on me that I should read the bible more…

Oh, Lord…here I am, so thankful to You for all You have shown me, all You have done for me…And yet, I find that I want more. Do I need more? You have all of the answers. You have shared some of them with me. How do I keep peace with where I am, while striving for the rest of what is meant for me to have? How do I find that balance?

My dear child, seek My rest and you shall find peace there. Waiting won’t feel such a heavy burden if you lean upon Me. Read the word and you will yet be closer to Me, still.

I sigh. Whether relief, contentment, or resignation I know not – Probably all of the above. Resting my head back, I close my eyes taking a deep slow breath. I feel better than I have in days, having accepted much that is out of my control. I am in that place with God that is secret and sacred. Sorry, can’t share more than that. Most likely because there are no words that exist in this physical world of ours that can possible do justice in explaining what God does with me in this sacred place.

Don't Touch the Gifts Under the Tree...Until it is Time

This time of year is a perfect tangible representation of God's promises to us, that we must yet wait for. We are called to praise and thank God for the gifts we have yet to receive. Sometimes, I find this quite difficult. But, all month long, as presents began filling up the skirt of our tree, it dawned on me how we practice this act year in and year out. Let me explain:

Kit saw the presents with his name on them the first week of December. He had no idea what lived within the wrapping paper, but...

he knew he was getting gifts! He also knew that he had to wait for those gifts...Wait for what felt like an eternity to a four year old.

Quite frankly, it felt like an eternity to me, as well! I just wanted to watch him tear into his gifts!

The amazing thing: Kit thanked his Mommy and Daddy for his presents - prior to Christmas.

That is how it is with God and His promises to us. We may feel that we are waiting for a perceived forever, but everything is in God's timing -- And, God's timing is perfect. Not just for Him and His purposes, but for us. How wonderful is it that God cares so much for our well-being that He waits until it makes sense to give us our gifts? He has told us He will provide us food, shelter and clothing. He will also give us rest, strength and patience when we need it.

The next time I am frustrated with waiting on God, I am going to praise Him and thank Him for all He has done, all He is doing, and all He will do.