|First sunrise in Outerbanks, NC|
Taken by Paisley Sept 16th 2013
Life has been full this past month.
My gift to the Outerbanks was a blessing I will cherish for my entire life. The spiritual revelations God bestowed upon me during my time ocean side is still evolving within my heart. And, much has transpired since my return.
First: I didn't realize how much my time at the ocean would feel draining once home. The drive was twelve hours each way, I walked about ten miles on the beach during those five days, and I spent a lot of time gaining understanding of spiritual rest with God. Not to mention, my heart longed for my husband and child. I had never been away from them for as long as I was during this trip. It was hard to be apart from them and yet it was necessary for all of us.
I spent my first week back recuperating. I honestly believed I would be jumping right back into posting and sharing. I still kept myself in the bible upon my return, God furthering His work from the prior week. I played catch up with The Rustic Knight and Kit -- I got a hug from Kit that laid me flat out on the floor, him jumping on me from the couch, he was so excited. We vegged.
On my third day back to work, I learned that the restaurant was closing it's doors the middle of this month. It was sudden for everyone, including the owners, and not of their choosing. There is an outpouring of support from the community, everyone getting their fix of our restaurant before the doors close for the last time. Due to this, I am going to be working nine days in a row. This is wonderful because it means a paycheck. It is also hard, because we are so busy that we are all going in for extra hours...because we are that busy. It takes a toll...but it is worth it.
When I was blessed with this job, I knew in my heart that my time at this restaurant was linked to the amount of time this business was in the current owners hands. I just had no idea that it would be this soon or in this way. As far as my husband and I are concerned, we are going to be just fine. We are not feeling those previous fears, worries, or desperations. We are not destitute. We have complete faith in God's plan for us and know that we are more than capable of making it through this time. God will provide. He has already shown this to us in the past. We have nothing to fear.
I feel as though I am being put through a spiritual seminar with God. All of the understanding He has placed upon me throughout my life is currently being thrown into overdrive. Deeper understanding, deeper love. It is all so intense. God is working in me for His purposes and I am excited at what He has planned. How will He use me?
I am experiencing a sense of peace -- no, that's not right. It's not a sense of peace, but Peace itself. God is so present with me, I trust Him fully, that I have entered into His peace. He is closing doors. But, He is about to open some, too. I cannot wait (though I will :)
With this all said, I feel I need to apologize to you.
Apologizing for putting out an expectation and then not following through.
I honestly had every intention to get back to my Prayer Study. If you have been waiting for it, I am sorry.
What I have learned is that I place expectations on myself when it comes to this site. When I do that, I can't hear God. I get worked up over things I shouldn't be spending my time on. I have picked up my Prayer Study to find I don't have it in my heart to do it.
And this is why:
I am being called to pray. Pray often and intensely. I am being called into Spiritual Rest with God (there will be a post on this at some point). I am being called to read the bible. For this, I believe the act of doing the Prayer Study takes away from the work God needs me to do now. That does not mean I have forsaken the Prayer Study; it just means I do not know when God will call me to pick it back up.
I love each and every one of you. I appreciate you and your commitment to coming back to this site. I also appreciate your understanding that life does not always go as planned. And I think it's better that way.
Dear Lord, I ask you to hold our hearts in Your hands,
softening them up so we may feel Your love.
softening them up so we may feel Your love.
Help us to hear Your call and to obey Your call.
May we share You with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ,
and help us to lead those that have yet to meet Jesus to You.
In Jesus Christ's name, Amen.