I am the kind of person that can over-think things until I have no idea where I began. I learned almost a decade ago that I had to adjust my analyzing process in order to lessen the mental turmoil I put myself through in making a decision...
...Who will be affected, and how? How can I make everyone happy?
How do I do what's right?
What does each scenario mean in terms of consequences?
How will this decision affect me tomorrow, next year, two decades from now?
The verdict: I can't make everyone happy; especially at the expense of myself. People are meant to grow. To change. To reinvent. I used to like ketchup when I was little. I don't anymore.
As we grow and change, so do our minds. The important thing here, while weighing the pros and cons of the various consequences, ultimately, I need to decide if I will still like myself after following through with a decision. Can I live with this choice?
In order to achieve a non debilitating thought process, I remind myself to live in the present and remember that everything is Temporary...
So. Everything is Temporary. This life: temporary. This day: temporary. My child's tantrum: temporary. The clouds blanketing the earth: temporary. When it comes to deciding, I have to remember that not every decision is a choice that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Some are decisions for now.
Some are decisions impacting our lives forever forward:
My husband and I hope to homestead. We want to move to a southern state with longer, milder seasons. We have over 1000 miles of which we will need to trek to get to said state from our current location. We are trying to be mindful of the logistics of making such a life altering decision. Research. Research. Research. How to choose where. The main objective is to find a place conducive to homesteading. Factors include climate, agriculture, economy, job opportunities, cost of living, housing values, schooling options, churches, family oriented activities, etc. The realistic expectations of preparing ourselves for the relocation. There is a lot of work involved. Time is necessary for a decision of this magnitude.
However, we needed a change now. What prompted us to move into our current rental was our need for more space. While we hope to buy a home in the near future elsewhere, we need a Temporary solution while we make our plans. So we searched for rentals, originally looking for a place in the country. That is just where our hearts reside. The open spaces, the beautiful scenery, living off the land, and the privacy. All things we love!
Guess what we found...Not homes in the country.
Another downside was that most of the available rental homes were void of appliances. There seemed to be some cruel joke being played on us: this was the first time lack of appliances was the norm. I freaked. I couldn't justify buying appliances we would only have for a year or two. I also didn't want to deal with them the next move. To that wonderful state that had our lifestyle waiting for us.
So, what did we do? We picked the house in town, possessing the most space within our budget, and that had an 'us' feel to it. The house didn't have appliances. The yard is minuscule.
The benefits surpass the negatives ten to one. The reason? Temporary. When we began looking at this venture as a Temporary solution to our present lives, we realized what was important to us now. Renting is a Temporary solution. Renting does not cement us to our decision of picking a home. Right now, we need gas to go further and quality of life to improve. By refocusing our minds and hearts on the present, we found ourselves within walking distance from the park, the library, and the store. Plus, my husband is only five minutes from work. It is not quite our future dream come true, but it is a dream in it's own way.
Though I won't have a stove, it's just Temporary and I can make that work. It's not for the next 50 years. We bought appliances out of necessity. We can sell them or give them to someone in need when we move again, because this is all Temporary.
Remembering that everything is Temporary allows us to live in the Present. We gift ourselves with making the most of each day, each decision, based on what makes life worth living now. I have half of my future dream right now. Why would I choose not to embrace it? I am no longer living in wait of my future...