Don't Stop

Below is a poem I wrote a few years ago -- I know I was home with Kit when I wrote it; he was 1 or 2...I had been deep in solitude and felt very alone. I was in a dark place, beginning to see the truth of my own heart; it was heart breaking. This was around the beginning of the severing of my ties to the past that bound me to the world, not God.

I still have moments when I completely relate to how I felt when I initially wrote this prayer. I think it's important to remember, that no matter how far we come spiritually, or how close we get to God, there are times we struggle with being the best we can be. We work hard, we mature in spiritual nature, and we land in that place of contentment. We are succeeding and it feels wonderful!

Then, we hit upon a stumbling block that sends us spinning and we need help getting back to that wonderful place we know to be Good. This is part of the fight in choosing Jesus, choosing His sacrifice, choosing to pick up the cross, day after day.

God led me to this prayer today, to remind me that He has shown me how to pray when I begin to question myself in my relationship with Him. I am sharing this because He has told me to. Every time I have been led to this prayer, it reminds me that I am human, and that God will always allow me to express my concerns with Him. I am filled with peace after reading this. May God bless you and keep you, may His face shine down upon you, and may you be touched by His grace...I love you all.

God Gave Me Tape

Interesting title, but it is truth verbatim. 

The house we are renting has mostly single pane windows, the storm windows missing. We have to put up plastic and tape to seal out the harsh western winds during this season. You should see the plastic when such weather transpires: our curtains bubble out, the plastic filling with cold air...it is quite an eye opener!

About a week or so ago, I had done the dining room windows. Prior to that, The Rustic Knight and I completed the upstairs. Yesterday, I did the living room, leaving only the kitchen. I ran out of tape upon completion of the dining room. I literally had enough to do those two windows. Praise God!

Yesterday, I was caulking around the molding surrounding two newer windows in the living room. We have four windows: two new facing front, two old facing back. The two newer windows were not insulated properly, therefore you can see through to the outside of the molding. Hence the caulking. In the middle of sealing these cracks, I thought to myself, "It would be totally awesome if God just miraculously placed a role of tape in our junk drawer."

Now, we were going to buy tape, but when we went to the store, we weren't prepared to spend what the stores were asking for. This was not because we didn't have the money for it, we just didn't want/couldn't bring ourselves to spend our money on the tape. It seems odd in hindsight, yet I also understand why we didn't buy it, because...

How would this have happened:

The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 24

Chapter 24, Revelation Of The Heart

“I actually think I can work with that, if you would like me to do some digging around?” Todd didn’t miss a beat.

“Isn’t Chet a nickname though? For some reason, I feel that Chet is not his full name. Maybe it was for protection in anonymity?” Though, I couldn’t figure out why my father needed to hide his identity from…From whom? My mind was a blank.

“It could be. I’ll do a search of names associated with the nickname Chet.”

I nodded, becoming restless in my thoughts. My mind began traveling back to what Ava and Todd had said about the boarder, how that woman arrived after my mother left. “Did you search what school my mom went to?” I snuck a look at him. “Maybe my mother met my father in college? Is the timing right for that?”

“Yeah, I searched.” Todd seemed to suck in his breath. Time suspended. “There is no record she enrolled in college.”

My Prayer For Today...

Lord, 

I ask you to forgive me for wanting things not meant for me. 

Please cleanse my heart and fill me up with Your will. 

In Jesus Christ's name, Amen. 

Outerbanks NC
Photo taken by Paisley Sept. 17, 2013

I have had a full week, leaving me feeling a bit depleted. 

This is of the good kind. 

I am spent from the Lord's use of me, and I love it. 

Today is a day for recuperation, of the divine kind. 

This led me to pray the prayer above. 

God revealed my need to pray for something I hadn't realized I needed to pray about. 

And to Him, I am immensely grateful. 

Praise be to God!

The Secrets Held Within, Chapter 23

Chapter 23, The Return To Friends

Sitting before me were three curious faces. From left to right: Todd, Stella, Ava. What did I have to share? I didn’t know how to process what I had learned, let alone communicate it. So, I did what I have come used to doing these past couple of days. I leaned on God’s strength. I took a deep breath, about to explain myself, and my apparent disregard for the others in this room, shown by my departure, when Ava pierced the air with her words, running them together, seemingly afraid of my reaction to her starting. What she is unaware of, the time God has just gifted me with in sorting through my own scraps of information.

“I’m sorry. I see you are fine. Todd followed you when you left, returning when he saw that you were talking to the owners of Reticence Unlocked. Figuring you needed to do that alone, he returned and the three of us figured out a plan of gathering information. I must say, I can’t keep it in anymore.” Then she took a deep breath looking at me expectantly, as if awaiting my approval. She was sitting in an arm chair under the window, hands in her lap with fidgety fingers. Her knees were closed, though they bounced, peeking out from under a flowing purple skirt. I looked up to her face, noting the deep blue sweater that brought the plum out of the skirt in a striking way, her eyes wide, pools of insight within.

“Shoot.” I was more than happy to have the focus off of me, for a change. Plus, there is the potential that what they have collectively found might help me sort through my recent experiences. Lord, please give me continued strength in absorbing all I am meant to learn. Help guide my understanding of all of the pieces about to come together. Amen.

"God Called The Expanse 'Sky.'"

Outerbanks, NC.
Picture taken by Paisley Sept. 20th, 2013

Genesis 1:8-10

8 God called the expanse "sky."And there was evening, and there was morning -- the second day.

9 And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. 

10 God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw it was good. 

"He Alone..."

Outerbanks, NC.
Picture taken by Paisley Sept. 20th, 2013

Job 9:8

He alone stretches out the heavens 

and treads on the waves of the sea. 

"You Rule Over The Surging Sea..."

Outerbanks, NC
Taken by Paisley Sept 17th, 2013

Psalm 89:8-9

8 O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?

You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

9 You rule over the surging sea; 

when its waves mount up, you still them.

"His Splendor Was Like The Sunrise..."

One of my favorite pictures taken in the Outerbanks, NC
Taken by Paisley Sept 18th, 2013

Habakkuk 3:4

His splendor was like the sunrise; 

rays flashed from his hand, 

where his power was hidden. 

Doors Closing = Time For Prayer

Good Morning!

First sunrise in Outerbanks, NC
Taken by Paisley Sept 16th 2013

Life has been full this past month.

My gift to the Outerbanks was a blessing I will cherish for my entire life. The spiritual revelations God bestowed upon me during my time ocean side is still evolving within my heart. And, much has transpired since my return.