So, where have I been? Good question. The past three weeks have been a complete whirlwind! Life has happened, and quite unexpectedly. There have been ups, and there have been downs. We went camping; The Rustic Knight got a promotion; My husband's birthday was a week ago; Kit's birthday was yesterday; We had some medical issues in between all of the above; I picked up extra shifts at the restaurant; Family has visited.
LIFE has been lived.
I have not had the inspiration to write...Or do my prayer study. A part of me feels like a slacker, but when I really look back on the past three weeks, I tell myself: get over it. I am exhausted from all that has transpired. And I deserve a bit of a break (sorry it has been from my blog). But, I want to share meaningful, quality written material, not just post something for the sake of posting something.
Which leads me to why I am writing to day.
(I wasn't going going to, but on a whim, here I am ;)
I have been praying for God to show me a 'sign' that I am on the right path, still following His wishes. These 'signs' I am praying for, are really guiding lights I am asking to be shown. I want God to reveal the truth of the path He has laid before me, hoping I have not strayed off His path. And if I have, I ask Him to steer me back to the rightful path.
I have been praying this for weeks...
Why, you might ask?
Well, I want to be in my southern state homesteading!
I am having trouble waiting on God. I want to own acre upon acre, build my barn, milk my cow, plant my garden, drive my tractor, fix up my house, feed my chickens, etc, etc, etc...
I WANT MY HOMESTEAD!
The Rustic Knight and I got into a conversation last week about how we feel worthless. This is not fair to say, though, because we kill ourselves at work -- where we get paid -- and come home wanting to be productive. We spend time together as a family, and keep up with the few responsibilities we have at home. So, what's the problem, you ask? Well, we rent. We have less than 1/4 of an acre. Not much to do on the home front. Yes there is the library, the park, the playground. We go for walks, to the beach, or some other free fun. But...
We want to get down and dirty, work ourselves to the bone, and earn our down time and our food.
I want to be exhausted from working my land in an attempt to live self sufficiently.
I want to come home from work and feed my animals.
I want to wake up in the morning and milk my cow.
When I give my pig an apple, I want to say to it, thank you for eating that so that I may eat you.
I want to walk out to my massive garden and harvest dinner and desserts.
I want to barter my goods with my neighbors.
I want to paint rooms, mend fences, and cut, rake, and bale hay...
I. Want. To. Farm.
On. My. Own. Land.
So, my 'signs'? I have fallen into conversation with some of God's wonderful children, and through these conversations have felt the very presence of God with us. In these moments I am affirmed. Many times God tells us whether we are on the right path or not through our loved ones. And even though these children of God have been customers at work that are either regulars, or one timers, when they are in the restaurant and I am serving them, I love them.
Another 'sign': I have been trying to research specific information about particular aspects of homesteading for the past year, and have had the hardest time finding what I am looking for. Why is this frustrating? Well, I don't usually have a problem finding the information I want on the internet. I pray before I search, and am clever within my search criteria typed in the search bar. But for whatever reason, in this category I have found not a single thing I have been looking for...
Until this past week!
I have hit the mother load :) All in God's timing, is all I hear! Now I feel I have almost too much information -- But I am not complaining! I have been inspired to design a barn to house all of the animals and equipment my imagination believes we need...and I feel it's modest -- remember, homestead. The floor plan is already done. I am happy with my dimensions, and I have the animals separated within the barn. I believe I have created space for everything we may need. And I find the process of designing for my future homestead, whether it be house or barn, very relaxing.
Through this, I have found the lift I needed. I know we must wait, at least, until February, before we can seriously implement our plan to move to our southern state. But for now, my desire has been satiated with research. When the time finally does come, we will be a few legs up: We will have an idea of what we are getting into, how long it may take to bring this dream to fruition, and an expectation of costs. Instead of waiting for the homestead to learn about what we will be doing, and possibly drowning in a sea of unknown, I get to fill myself up with information. I can weed out what we don't need when the time comes, but at least we will be prepared to the best of our ability before breaking ground.
God is Good. He is Great. While I have struggled in being patient with Him, feeling incredibly frustrated at our seemingly stagnant state (how's that for alliteration), He has gently reminded me that more has come into being the past 6 months, than I am aware. Not to mention, I have no idea what needs to be in place in our southern state before we arrive.
~God's timing is ALWAYS perfect!~
There is great joy to come from knowing this truth!
There is a saying in my family (where it originated, I have no clue):
You can have all the patience in the world,
when what you are waiting on is God.
I have found myself back in the loving arms of Peace :)